Love is Wherever they Are
by iheartTQ
Summary: Jude is lost while Tommys gone, Speid wants to help so he gets Tommy to come back but Tommy brings along a big surprise with him, that will break Judes heart. What happens when Tom's back and Jude decided to leave like he did? JOMMY !
1. I Feel Fine

**This takes place I guess from season two finale when Tommy leaves and Jude has no clue where he is, yes I know season 3 ended but I want to use the season two ending and everything is the same from season 1 and two, all that stuff happened, exept Kwest and Sadie are already together in this, this is my first fan fic so please be kind!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant star, and I do not own the song Teardrops on my guitar by Taylor Swift, and I did change a few words in the song.

**Jude is sitting in Studio A, just strumming on her guitar, when Kwest walks in, she doesn't notice him she's to preoccupied with thoughts of where the heck Tommy could be.**

Kwest: "Hey Red", Jude didn't answer.

Kwest: "Jude, helloo, earth to jude!" No response. "Heyy Judee" he sang, she turned aroung and glared at him.

Jude: "Whats your deal?" she said as she stopped playing.

Kwest: "Well that was my last resort, anyway whatchya workin on?" He said with a smile, hopefully Jude had a new song, she hasn't written anything since Tommy left, and Darius was getting annoyed with them.

Jude: "Nothing, I still have nothing, I cant seem to write, it's never been like this" She said spinning around in her chair. Kwest shot her a sympathetic look.

Kwest: "Jude, if this is about To-" Jude cut him off,  
Jude: "Kwest! I can write songs without him, if he want's to leave without any explanation and not return my calls, it wont affect me in anyway, infact I think I do have some inspiration coming on."

Kwest: "Really?" He said, skeptical.

Jude: "Yeah, lets get started."

**A couple of hours later Jude had a song and her and Kwest were ready to record, she grabs her guitar and runs into the booth.**

Kwest: "Ready Jude?"

Jude: "As ready as I'll ever be."

_And he looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be  
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
And she's got everything that I have to live without_

This song is definatly about Tommy, and apparently Jude thinks he left for another girl,Kwest thought.

He talks to me, I laugh cause it's just so funny  
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,  
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:  
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly,  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be  
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do  
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down and maybe  
Get some sleep tonight

**A tear roll's down Jude's cheek as she puts on a sad smile.**

Kwest: "Wow Jude, that was perfect, we don't even need another take, It's better like this with the raw emotion, you can come out." Jude walks out of the booth. "Jude, I know that songs about Tommy," She opened her mouth to object but he ignored her, "Listen Jude I dont know where T is, but I know that he wouldn't just leave for another girl causing all this drama, he would have just told us_" Jude started to cry, and Kwest sat next to her and cradled her in a friendly hug._

Jude: "If he didn't leave for some girl, then what is it? How could he just leave everything behind?!" Jude then became angry, "You know what Kwest, if Tommy doesn't care enough to atleast call then I don't care either, I gotta go." She took her jacket and stormed out, SME was on the couch and she passed them. Speid: "Dude, uh I mean Jude, whats the rush, gotta hot date?" Jude gave him a cold yet heartbreaking look. Speids face fell and he felt guilty, he forgot about Quincy for a second. Speid: "Sorry, come on I'll drive you home." They didn't talk on the way home much, but it was a comfortable silence. Speid knew that Jude was hurting over Tommy, and though he and Jude weren't together, he still loved her cause she was his best friend, and he hated seeing her act so broken. He drove up to her house, Jude gave him a hug and said thanks and left. _Man, Quincy really messed up this time, and I'm not gonna watch Jude crash and burn like this, I'm gonna have to fix this myself. _Speid thought.


	2. I Forgot to Remember to Forget

_A/N- The song in this chapter is "Pain" by Three Days Grace._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star._

**Speiderman was in the rehearsal space the next day just getting off the phone with someone when Jude walked in.**

Speid: "Hey Dude." He then noticed the tears rolling down her face. He pulled her into a hug and he knew this was a Tommy Quincy problem.

Speid: "Im assuming this is about Tommy?" Jude nodded and sniffled.

"Listen Jude, Tommy cant run forever, he's gotta face everything some time or later, he's gonna come back." Jude sniffled again and with an ounce of hope said :

"How do you know that Speid, you cant be sure, even Kwest doesn't know where he is, and if he's coming back." Speid handed her a tissue.

"We were on a date Speed, a real date, and he just leaves and doesn't come back, am I that terrible?" She sobbed into Speiderman's shirt a bit, but he didn't care.

Speid: "Of course not dude, your the best chick I know, any guy would be a dork to pass you up, Quincy will come back, trust me."

Jude: "Thanks Speed, you really think he's coming back?" He squeezed her hand a little, "since when am I wrong?" jude chuckled and wiped her tears. "He'll come, sooner then you think." he whispered the last part quietly.

**A couple weeks later Kyle, Wally, Speiderman and Kwest were all at g-major in Studio A talking.**

Kwest: "Listen, I know you guys want to help but you might end up making things worse, Jude is getting a little better, she's laughing again, going out places, she even started recording a few new songs." Speiderman rolled his eyes and played Jude's latest song.

_"Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all'_

Speid: "How could I overlook that, that SOUNDS LIKE A GIRL THATS DOING FINE !!" Speid practically yelled at Kwest. Kwest: "Alright, jeez you almost made me drop my sandwhich, almost." He took a big bite of his huge sandwhich and turned to Kyle and Wally,

"So you guys are gonna help with this?" barely making out what he said because of his chewing, they nodded.

Speiderman: "I spoke to Tommy, he's coming back, but he's sorta got a little 'suprise' that he's bring along." Speid looked down, he knew what Tommy's little "suprise" was and he hoped Jude would be okay.

Kwest: "I [he swallowed know that already" he smirked "he's my bestfriend 'dude'" he said immitating Speiderman,

Kwest: "Jude is gonna be upset if she finds out."

They all looked down in shame, and Kwest smirked.

Kyle: "Kwest just make sure that he comes and doesn't chicken out."

Wally: "Now we'll leave you to enjoy your sumo sandwhich." and with that they all left the studio.

**Meanwhile Jude was at her house watching " **_**Instant Star**_** ," it may have been the show that made her, but she couldn't help but laugh at some of the contestants. Was Darius serious?**

**[A/N- This part is in Judes POV Some one did that did catch her interest was a girl named Karma, Jude didn't want to judge her but she just had a feeling they probally would clash. Out of the blue she hears **_**Time to be your 21, **_**only one person.. Tommy ?!?**

She picked it up right away.

Jude: "Hello?" she was so scared right now, he's finally returning her calls? Where has he been? Why did he leave? She panicked.

Tommy: "Hey girl, its me." That voice !! My gosh, wait a minute, whats wrong with me? Im furious, I want answers! He says four words and I cant breathe? I need to calm down, wait a minute I need to say something.

Jude: "Wow, your calling me? I was beggining to think that you joined the Witness Protection Program." Thats right , tell him Jude.

Tommy: "Im sorry I didn't call, I've had a lot to deal with lately."

Jude: "Like?" Well atleast he's alive and well and not laying in a sewer somewhere.

Tommy: "Well.. uh I'd rather not say.." Oh hell no! Ugh he gets on my nerves! Yet you love him Jude, wait a minute, I do ??

Jude: "TOM QUINCY! YOU LEAVE WITHOUT EXPLANATION ON OUR DATE, YOU HAVE ME WORRIED SICK FOR TWO MONTHS, YOU NEVER CALL, NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE, NOW YOU CALL AND YOU'D RATHER NOT SAY !?!"

Tommy: "Jude, I-" He was cut off by the sounds of the dial tone, she hanged up on him?

**On the next chapter of **_**Love is Wherever They Are: **_

: "Hey Jude."

_How will Jude react?_

Jude: "I DONT EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!"

_Will their friendship last?_

Speid: "You hurt her and I'll bury you"

_Whats got Speiderman like this ??_


	3. Devil In Her Heart

_A/N- Thanx for responding people! 3_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Instant Star or 'Running Away' by Three Days Grace._

**It was a late afternoon at G- Major, and Jude, Speiderman, Wally, Kyle & Kwest were all in the studio, Jude was frustrated because Kwest kept making her do her song over. **

Jude: "Kwest, its fine, really! We did it 10 times already !!"

Kwest: "Come on Red, you know it could be perfection if you put a little more effort in to it, just feel the music."  
Jude: "Im blonde Kwest! and fine I'll do it again." Kyle smirked - "Trust me, we know your hair color."

Jude: "I heard that Kyle !!" Kwest, Speid and Wally chuckled.

Kwest: "Running Away, take 11"

I'm thinking to myself  
That I've done something wrong  
That I've crossed the line  
Have you found out this time  
What led you to believe  
It's only you and me  
Do you see it in my eyes  
Have you found out this time

_Chorus:_  
You see right through me  
Cause you're running away  
You keep turning your back on me  
I tried so hard  
But you're running away  
Please dont turn your back on me

I'm drinking by myself  
And oh, I'm going down  
But will you pick me up  
Will you leave me on the ground  
I led you to believe  
It's only you and me  
I can see it in your eyes  
That you found out this time

_Chorus_

Don't just turn and walk away  
I can learn from my mistakes  
Don't throw everything away

You see right through me  
Cause you're running away  
You keep turning your back on me  
I tried so hard  
But you're running away  
But you're running away

**Kyle and Wally stood with their mouths open, but Speiderman and Kwest just smiled. It was obvious it was about Tommy.**

: "That was great girl."

That could only be one person, Oh my dear god. Tommy ?!?

Tommy: "Hey Jude." Jude stood in shock until she finally gained the strength to speak.

Jude: "Tommy?" He gave one of his infamous smiles and said "It's me girl." Jude looked at everyone else besides Tommy, and well, well, well.. they didn't look shocked at all, instead they looked a little timid.

Jude: "Why aren't you guys suprised like me?" Speiderman, Wally & Kyle all chuckled nervously. Kwest looked a bit scared too.

"Umm.. its a funny story, we sort of.. well.." Jude looked at Speid expecting more of an answer "What Speid?" He looked away, "Kyle?" He didn't say anything. She looked hopefully at Wally,

"Wally?" He put his head down in shame and said "We knew, Jude." Jude stared at them in shock.

Jude: "How exactly?" she looked so broken and fragile at that moment, but anger burned inside of her.

Speid: "We found out where he was, and we made him come, well Kwest made him come." She stared at Kwest for answers.

Kwest: "It wasn't my fault! Kyle made me! I was blackmailed!" he whined. It didn't matter because Jude didn't care, she couldn't hold in her tears and she ran out of the studio. Tommy was about to go after her when Speid grabbed him "You hurt her and I'll bury you."

Tommy stared at him for a second then chased after her. "Jude! Jude! Wait!" she turns around,

"Where the hell were you? Why did you leave? Tell me Tommy I have to know" She begged, she could barely stand he had to hold her by her arms. He gave her a sympathetic look and knew what he was about to do would kill her.

He grabbed hold of her hand and led her into the kitchenette where there was an adorable little girl with curly brown hair and a tiny blue dress with matching shoes, who couldn't be older than 5 or 6. Holding her hand was a fairly tall woman about 5'7 with beautiful green eyes and long brown hair and a petite body frame. She smiled at Tommy. What the hell, this better be Tommy's sister, Jude thought.

Tommy picked up the little girl, "Jude this is Anna, my daughter." Jude nearly fell down, but Speiderman stood behind her and held her up. Her eyes burned with tears threatning to fall, but she wouldn't let them. Tommy then pointed to the beautiful woman,

"And this is Jessica" he paused and with guilt said "my fiance."

Jude looked down at Jessica's ring finger, and there was a beautiful diamond ring. She looked at Tommy, and Speiderman, the little girl than Jessica. So there's another girl, two if you count his daughter. My god, he's getting married and has a kid, he left for another girl. A perfect, beautiful girl, with HIS adorable daughter.

Jude: "Nice to meet you both, I have to go." she whispered and ran out into the alley. Tommy grabbed Kyle and Wally and pulled them away from his 'family', as Speiderman ran after Jude.

Kyle: "Well, that went better than expected."

Tommy:"SHE DIDN'T KNOW! YOU SAID SHE KNEW! SHE RAN OUT IN TEARS!"

Wally: "How else could we get you here, she needed to know, she needs some closure, dude"

Tommy: "You lied to me! If I knew-"

Kyle:"Boo freakin hoo, if you knew you wouln't have came."

Wally:"Yeah your a big chicken Quincy." Tommy glared at them, then went to go talk to Kwest.

**xXx In the Alley where Jude is xXx**

**Speiderman found Jude leaning against a wall on the floor crying. He tried to hug her but she pushed him away.**

Jude: "Out of all the times! I didn't want to be right this time!" She sobbed,

Speid: "I know Jude."

Jude: "You knew about everything! About his daughter! His soon to be wife! Your soposed to be my friend!"

Speid: "I am, Im your best friend, I thought him being back would help. I thought you needed closure! Im so sorry but you needed to know." He didn't want to hurt her, but Tommy wasn't gonna tell Jude the truth on his own, and Jude needed to move on.

Jude: "Well you know what, him back with his new family, is worse then before!" He gave her a sad look but she only glared black.

Speid: "Jude-" he was cut off by Jude.

Jude: "I DONT EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!" she cried out, sobbing. "Jude please," Speiderman pleaded.

Jude: "You lied to me! And your wrong, your not my bestfriend." He looked at her with hurt in his eyes. But she continued anyway.

Jude: "You are nothing to me." she said coldy and then Speiderman felt the same pain that Jude felt with Tommy. She began to walk away. Speiderman eyes watered a bit, "JUDE!" his voice was the way someone calls out to someone who they love who's about to die. Tragic and tearful. But she just walked away while he broke down. _I lost my bestfriend, I hurt her like everyone else does, I'm soposed to hate those people, and yet I'm one of them. _Speid thought.

**xXx Back in the Studio with Kwest and Tommy xXx**

Kwest: "Look im sorry man, but it had to be done, she's like my little sister, and she needed to know, I shouldn't have lied to you though, but otherwise I'm not sorry." Tommy knew Kwest was right.

Tommy: "I know, I'm not mad. There are reason's I'm with Jess though, things people don't understand." Kwest nodded in understanding.

Kwest: "So we cool man?" "Yeah" Tommy said.

Tommy: "So how were you blackmailed?" Tommy said with interest.

Kwest: "You don't wanna know, man, you don't wanna know."

Tommy:"Humor me." he smirked.

Kwest: "It involved lipstick, a wig, a training bra and a camera." Kwest shivered at the thought.

Tommy shook his head and laughed.


	4. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

_Thanx for replying people! _

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Instant Star and I don't own the song "Already Gone" by Lucie Silvas._

**Two Days after the whole Tommy Fiasco, Jude was in her room trying to write a song when ****Sadie knocked on her door. This part is basically in Sadie's POV.**

Jude: "Come in!" she yelled, still annoyed with her writing, the chorus just wouldn't fit like she wanted it to. Sadie came in and looked around.

"Jude, You have barely came out of this room since Tommy came back. I thought you would be all excited and happy like you used to be when he was around, instead your hiding. I thought he was your best friend, or maybe something_ more_.." she smirked.

Anyone who couldn't see what they had was blind, thats why I knew I had to move on, and luckily I fell in love with my baby Kwest.

Jude: "Sadie, Tommy is engaged with a kid, it doesn't matter where I am because he could care less." Her voice was so dull and Sad.

Sadie: "Jude he's what! Oh My God! How could this happen! When did you find out! Are you okay?!" She rambled on and on, her face was priceless. How could she not know! Why didn't Kwest tell her! She would have to call him later.

Jude: "I'm actually fine Sades. See almost everyone I care about, with the exeption of you, has turned on me." Sadie looked confused.

"My soposed to be bestfriend Vincent found out about Tommy, told me he didn't know anything while him, Wally, Kyle and Kwest got Tommy down here somehow, who is engaged to the perfect woman with an adorable kid, and I look stupid because like everything else, I was last to know." Ahh she must be pissed at Speid I mean she called him Vincent, but poor Jude, I know how she feels about Tommy. I thought he felt the same way, what a jerk!

Sadie: "I'm sorry Jude, but you have to come to g-major or Darius will blow a fuse." I know it will be hard, but she has to.  
Jude: "Sadiee..." she whined.

Sadie: "Jude, hun I know it hurts to be around those people, but sometimes you got to do things that you don't want to." Jude sighed.

Jude: "Okay Sades, I'm not gonna fight you, because I know you'll end up making me go somehow anyway." I smiled, thats my sis.

Sadie: "Well your right, so tomorrow bright and early be ready." Jude tried to smile but she couldn't she was too broken.

**- Meanwhile Tommy and Kwest were in Studio A -**

Kwest: "As much as I know your a great producer and all, I dont really think you should be here." Tommy looked very angry.

Tommy: "I was her producer Kwest. I helped her get to number 1, she's my girl. I'm back and need to get started again." Kwest looked at him like he was crazy.

Kwest: "Actually, she accomplished that herself T, and by the way she's not your girl, Jess is." he smirked, he knew he was pushing Tommy's buttons.

Tommy: "I know that Kwest! But I'm her producer and we are gonna work together like we always do." Kwest looked at him bewildered and with anger. Did Tommy have one bit of sense in his damn brain?!

Kwest: "Tom what the heck is wrong with you! You asked her on a date, abandoned her and come back with a kid and a fiance! You knew how she felt about you and you hurt her so much, and you think its gonna be all good? If you don't give a crap then leave the her alone! She doesn't deserve it!" Tommy was beyond pissed, but suprised, Kwest rarely stood up to him.

Tommy: "Its not like that man!" he said getting up, but Kwest got up too and got in his face.

Kwest: "I watched her cry her eyes out, and she was no longer Jude. She was someone that I dont know." He stopped for a moment. "You came back and before she had a chance to be happy again, you screw up again!" Tommy knew he was right.

Kwest didn't want to get all mad and yell at Tommy, but that was exactly what he needed.

Tommy: "Im sorry. I honestly am." Kwest sighed.

Kwest: "Well that doesn't fix this broken girl Tom."

**-The Next Day a very sleepy Jude woke up at 7 am. She didn't sleep because she couldn't stop t****hinking about being around everyone who hurt her so much.-**

She took a shower, did her hair, then went to get dressed. She could really care less though. Tommy, the man she loves was engaged, and any chance of them being together was shot to hell. She was so angry though. He asked her out then leaves and gets engaged. What the hell does that mean! And she lost her friends in this. Wally and Kyle were probally just doing what Speid told them to, and Kwest was blackmailed, but Speiderman. He was her best friend, how could he be so selfish and hurt her like that.

Sadie: "JUDE! COME ON, WE HAVE TO LEAVE OR WE'LL BE LATE LIKE LAST TIME!" she screamed. Sadie could be such a pushover. Jude took a look in the mirror, at least you couldn't tell by just looking at her she was heartbroken.

**-Jude arrived at G-Major and went to find Kwest. But ran into Speid first.-**

Speid: "Jude can we talk, please?" She looked at him up and down. He looked like crap. I mean he looked like he hadn't slept in 2 weeks and his clothes were wrinkled and when she looked in his eyes, she saw so many emotions, pain, guilt, and misery. She had to look away, or she would feel too bad. She hadn't noticed he looked in her eyes too, and he saw how truly sad she was, and knew the reasons. How much everyone around her, hurt her and let her down. How she was lonely. How she was lost. Then she spoke.

Jude: "I told you, I'm not speaking with you." she began to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

Speid: "Jude, please, you don't know how sorry I am. I didn't know everything would happen like this." Her eyes began to water.

Speid: "Jude, please don't cry, because it kills me." She looked up at him, and for that moment, wanted to forgive but couldn't.

Jude: "Don't pretend you care because you don't." she stated. Did she really beleive that?

Speid: "Jude, you are my bestfriend, even before Kyle and Wally, I love you. I never wanted to hurt you." She got out of his grasp.

Jude: "But you did. I have to go meet Kwest." and she ignored Speiderman calling her and went into Studio A. Tommy was there, with Kwest.

Kwest expected the worst, for her to scream, or punch him in the face, kick him where it hurts, damn that girl was violent. But instead she shocked Kwest by going up to him giving him a hug kissing him on the cheek and sitting down. She didn't acknowledge Tommy. She used to hug him every morning, and he missed it so much.

Jude: "I have a song." she said softly. Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but Kwest stopped him.

Kwest: "Everythings already set up so go right in." Jude nodded and went in. Speiderman walked in but she didn't see him.

_I can't stop the moon from rising  
And the sun will set exactly where it should  
I can't stop the rivers from running  
God only knows I'd stop you if I could_

_From not seeing me how you used to  
From walking out the door  
I can't stop you from not loving me anymore_

_I can do nothing if your mind's made up  
No matter how I feel it's not enough for the both of us  
So don't lie to me cause there's no need  
I have fooled myself for too long  
Cause you're still here but you're already gone_

_Spring time will come after winter  
But the winter seems to last the whole year long  
And I know, I know you're just trying to make it easier  
While I'm sitting here trying to be strong_

_You can say you love me  
It won't sound right anymore  
Cause it's written on your face  
So what are you waiting for?_

_I can do nothing if your mind's made up  
No matter how I feel it's not enough for the both of us  
So don't lie to me cause there's no need  
I have fooled myself for too long  
Cause you're still here but you're already gone_

_Your coat's still in the hallway  
My heart's still in your hands  
I don't want to face the truth right now  
But that's not who I am_

_No that's not who I am_

_I can do nothing if your mind's made up  
No matter how I feel it's not enough for the both of us  
So don't lie to me cause there's no need  
I have fooled myself for too long  
Cause you're still here but you're already gone_

She's done it once again, another song about Tommy that's gonna be a hit. Jude started to tear up, so Speiderman went in the booth and took her by the hand and led her out, for a minute she forgot she was so mad, and just saw him for who he was. Speed. Loving, caring Speiderman who loved his bestfriend. She would forgive him, her heart knew it, her brain was just very stubborn. But he couldn't take away her pain. Tommy didn't care about her at all, and her love for him wasn't like her love for Speid, she was IN love with him. She noticed everyone staring at her.

Kwest: "Your song was great Jude." Speid nodded in agreement, Tommy was silent and looked like he was thinking.

Kwest: "So you must be hungry after singing right?" She just stared at him like that was the dumbest thing he could possibly say.

Jude: "Yeah, I guess." she said softly. Kwest wanted to make her feel better so he took his sandwhich, broke it in half and gave it to Jude. She laughed at this, he never did that for anyone, it was really stupid but Kwest was just like that. Her laughter soon died.

Tommy: "Jude, can we talk outside." What the hell does he want. He doesn't love me, care about me, he could go talk to his 'fiance'.

Jude: "Actually, I cant really do that right now."

Tommy: "Jude can we please." He didn't want it to be like this, not talking to her, was killing him, and worst of all her song. It was like being punched in the stomache & having the wind knocked out of him.

Jude looked at Speiderman with sad eyes, even though he thinks she hates him, he wanted to help.

Speid: "Come on Jude, Darius said if you laid a track down we could leave early." He held out his hand for her and she took it, and left. Tommy's face fell.

Kwest: "She was very pissed at Speiderman, but after that song, seems like she'd rather be around _anyone but you._"

Tommy: "SHUT UP, just eat your sandwhich or whatever." He sighed. _Her song, I'm such an idiot._ Tommy thought.

**A/N- I know that kinda sucked, and there wasn't all that interesting and not much happened but it had to be in there. But the next chapter will be better. If people haven't already noticed I use Beatles songs for the chapters, and "Anna" is from a Beatles song. Anyway Reveiw!**


	5. You're Going to Lose That Girl

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star._

**Recap of last chapter:**

Jude: "Don't pretend you care because you don't."

Speid: "Jude, you are my bestfriend, even before Kyle and Wally, I love you. I never wanted to hurt you."

Jude: "But you did."

-------------------------**xXx**----------------------------

Jude started to tear up, so Speiderman went in the booth and took her by the hand and led her out, for a minute she forgot she was so mad, and just saw him for who he was. Speed. Loving, caring Speiderman who loved his bestfriend. She would forgive him, her heart knew it, her brain was just very stubborn. But he couldn't take away her pain. Tommy didn't care about her at all, and her love for him wasn't like her love for Speid, she was IN love with him.

Tommy: "Jude, can we talk outside."

Jude: "Actually, I cant really do that right now."

Tommy: "Jude can we please." _not talking to her, was killing him._

_Jude looked at Speiderman with sad eyes, even though he thinks she hates him, he wanted to help._

Speid: "Come on Jude, Darius said if you laid a track down we could leave early." He held out his hand for her and she took it, and left. Tommy's face fell.

Kwest: "She was very pissed at Speiderman, but after that song, seems like she'd rather be around _anyone but you._"

_I'm such an idiot._ Tommy thought.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Jude and Speiderman walked outside of G-Major.**

Speiderman: "So umm.. are you talkin' to me now?" he said nervously.

Jude: "I honestly don't know Speiderman. You lied and you know I hate that. It hurt me so much to know I was the joke, the one who's bestfriend didn't tell her the truth. I was so upset, and I couldn't go to you, why weren't you honest with me? Didn't you know it would hurt more hearing everything the way I did!" She broke down.

While she spoke Speid looked at her with sad eyes, and then she started to cry.

Speid: "Jude, I know I lied, and you will never be a joke, and I should've been honest. I made a mistake, I screwed up."

Jude: "It hurt me." She paused trying to catch her breath from her tears. "The most, because.." She cried harder.

"You were someone I always counted on, and then when I needed you, I was too busy being mad." She sniffled.

Jude: "But you had to screw up!"

Speid: "I'm sorry okay!" She started to cry louder and then she went up to him and she began to hit punch his chest over and over, then when he stopped her, he pulled her in a hug.

Jude: "Promise to never lie to me." she said softly.

Speiderman: "I promise never again. And promise to never kick me out of your life, always for forever."

Jude: "Never, always for forever." she repeated. He wiped away her stray tears.

Speid: "Come on waterworks, lets go to 620." She smiled and he put his arm around her as they walked to his car. It was all okay.

**It was around midnight, and Tommy just left the Studio, He was really tired. Jude's song, Kwest yelling, ****he decided he needed to talk to her so he drove to her house. In Tommy's POV.**

When Tommy got there, he saw Jude saying goodbye to Speiderman, walking out of his car laughing. _Guess their friends again. Anyway, now or never right? _

He gained the courage to walk up to her.

"Jude!" She turned around, with a suprised look on her face, and he walked closer to her, but she stepped back. He stepped further, she stepped back, step further, step back, finally her back was to her door and she couldn't go back anymore. _What the hell ??_

"Jude, we have to talk sooner or later." _I can't live with things the way they are, This thing with Jess may hurt but if only she knew._

Jude: "Tommy, I'm going to be completely honest with you." _Here goes, I hope no hitting is involved, damn that girl is violent._

Jude: "I don't think I can work with you anymore." _Huh? Why, I mean she may be mad, but.. come on!_

Tommy: "What, what are you talking about? She sighed and looked away. _Jude don't say it, please don't say it._

Jude: "Because Tommy, I can't be your friend." She broke his heart right there and then.

"I can't even look at you, talk to you, or be around you." she bit her lip and turned away, afraid to cry infront of him. _No Jude, please don't say that, please don't turn away, girl don't say it._

But Tommy wouldn't let her turn away, he grabbed her by her shoulders gently, and spun her around to see the tears streaming down her face. _Kwest is right. I know how she feels, and I hurt her and she doesn't deserve it. But please don't turn away._

"Jude, I know how things are but-" _and she suprises me yet again._

Jude: "No Tommy. You don't know. You'll never know! Because.." _because what? What Jude?_

"Because Tommy, you are the only one, who could do this to me. My only one. And maybe Jessica is that for you. But you never will know how I feel, because I feel confused, angry, depressed, embarassed, tired and worthless. The pain consumes me and I feel so numb that I can't breathe, like a thousand knives are being put in my chest, and I cant do a damn thing about it!" She sobbed.

_She is my only one. Not Jessica, but I have to be with her, she doesn't understand. But she will never be worthless, because someone will always love her. I always will._

Tommy: "Jude, Im so sorry." .

Jude: "No Tommy! Your not so don't say you are!" she screamed. "You leave everything and come back with a fiance! And I know Jessica is perfect so please just leave and go pretend I don't exist. It won't be hard because you never take me into consideration anyways!" _Jessica could not be half of what you are, you are perfect to me. And I could never pretend you don't exist, because to me only you exist. You are my everything. I only wish you knew._

Tommy: "It's not like that Jude! It'll be like always, It's you and me, I can't just go away, I care about you." _Liar, you love her._

Jude: "Tommy, I am beyond caring about you, but it doesn't matter, there is no me and you, we aren't anything. We might as well be strangers." _Don't let me lose her. It cant happen, I need her. _His eyes were glassy, now and when he finally choked out :

"Don't say that! Jude, I, I cant. please." But she looked away and ran inside. _I lost her?_

**It was the next day, and Jude and Speiderman were in his car, headed towards ****G-Major, **

**Speiderman notices she's been quiet, so he asks about it.**

Speiderman: "Dude, what's wrong? Britney Spears came on and you didn't diss her or change the channel. What gives?"

_She didn't want to talk about it, but she also didn't want to keep things from eachother._

Jude: "Last night, when you dropped me off, Tommy came by, and we are no longer even friends, and we aren't gonna work together, it is just too hard to be around him." Speed sighed.

Speid: "Jude, you and I both know how much you two mean to eachother. You can't just push him away." She scoffed.

Jude: "Why not, he always does a hell of a job pushing me away. Besides he means a lot to me, obviously it's not mutual."

Speid: "You will have to deal with things eventually." He then pulled into the G- Major parking lot. Him and Jude went in together and saw Kwest in the lounge with Wally and Kyle. They linked arms and walked up together.

Kwest: "Friends again?"

Speid and Jude: "Always for forever." they smiled.

Kyle & Wally: "Aww!" Kwest chuckled.

Wally: "I'm so proud of you guys." everyone laughed. Then Jude decided to get serious.

Jude: "So um Kwest, I spoke to Darius, Tommy won't be working with me at all, so it's just you and me." Kyle, Wally & Kwest stared at her in wonder.

Kwest: "No more Tommy?"

Jude: "Nope, now I'm gonna talk to Sadie, I'll meet you in the studio in 5 minutes." Kwest went to find Tommy, he was in the studio.

Kwest: "T, you look horrible, like you didn't sleep at all." Tommy shook his head.

Tommy: "Jude wants nothing to do with me. She's going to tell Darius to fire me off her album." He glumly said.

Kwest: "Actually, she already did. Sorry man." Anger burned in Tommy's eyes.

Tommy: "I can't beleive this! She doesn't want to be around me at all!"

Kwest: "Your almost married with a kid, Tommy, and you made her beleive you wanted her, I could only imagine how she feels."

Tommy: "I know, but.."

Kwest: "But nothing, you are gonna tell the truth, or live with your choices."

**Just then a very angry Jude came to the door with a very happy Jessica.**

**Uh oh, whats gonna happen? Reveiw to find out! 3**


	6. I've Got A Feeling

**A/N - I noticed that Kwest has a big part in this story, usually he's more left out, but in this story him and Jude are close. But ne wayz.. Thanx for your replys! I really love reading them ! D**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star._

**A very angry Jude came to the door of Studio A with a very happy Jessica.**

Jude: "KWEST!!" she screamed. Kwest turned around a little scared.

Kwest: "Yeah Jude?" She glared at him.

Jude: "Why am I suddenly hearing from people, that you might be taking a break from producing?" Kwest looked nervous, Tommy watched and saw Jessica had something to do with this, and shook his head.

Kwest: "Um, suprise?" She glared at him. "Alright, me and Sadie were planning on going on a vacation to Spain, but we cancelled it, so I didn't really think you'd care." Jude looked at Jessica.

Jude: "Well a little birdie told me, and made it sound serious." Jessica shot her a dirty look.

Jessica: "Oops, my bad.. Well thats what Tommy told me." She went up to Tommy and sat in his lap.

Tommy: "Jess, I'm working." he said in annoyance.

Jessica: "Not right now, your not working with _her _anymore, remember hunnie?" Jude looked at Tommy, then at Jessica and realized she really hated this girl.

Jude: "Your right about that, but here's the thing, your in _MY _studio,_ hunnie._" she said in a fake sweet voice. Kwest chuckled.

Jessica scoffed. "Well I'm leaving, bye baby." and she grabbed the back of Tommy's head and purposly made out with him. Jude looked like she was going to tear apart the studio. She pulled away, and smiled at Jude.

"Bye, uh Kwest is it?" He nodded, "Well have fun playing with your little buttons or whatever." she said as she twirled her hair in her finger. Kwest glared at her and put on a fake smile. She didn't say bye to Jude, she just walked out of the studio with a smile.

Kwest: "Well isn't she little miss sunshine." he said in a very annoyed tone. Tommy sighed.

Tommy: "Kwest, man-" Kwest rolled his eyes.

Kwest: "It's okay, I'll just go play with my little buttons. Does she even know your a producer?"

Tommy: "Yeah, she's just, doesn't understand this type of stuff." This whole time, Jude sat in a chair with glassy eyes. Tommy knew what she said, but he talked anyways.

Tommy: "Hey Jude." he said slowly. She looked up at him.

Jude: "I cant be here right now." she got up to leave.

Tommy: "Come on Jude, lets just talk." Then Kwest got up.

Kwest: "Maybe I should go." Jude held her hand up to stop him, and looked at Tommy.

Jude: "No, Tom, we talked last night." she started to walk away.

"Kwest, we'll work on a song tomorrow." and she walked out.

Kwest started to fake cough, "cough, cough, your fault!, cough, cough" Tommy just gave him a dirty look.

**Jude was in the lobby when she ran into Karma.**

Karma: "Well hello, Jude." Jude and Karma were basic frenemies.

Jude: "Karma." Jude just didn't like her.

Karma: "I know all about the photo's Jude. I must say, I was a bit suprised." Jude rolled her eyes, she didn't have time for this.

Jude: "What photo's?" Karma let out and irritating laugh.

Karma: "The one's that should be in playboy, why don't you go take a look, I gave them to Darius." She smirked and walked away.

Jude ran into D's office. Darius looked up with a not so happy expression.

Darius: "Take a seat Jude." She sat down. "Now Jude, please tell me what in the world are these." he said handing her a couple photo's. She was disgusted, she was posed all different ways while sleeping. She was in a bra and under wear.

Jude: "Oh my god." she gasped.

Darius: "There's a note too." he handed it to her, it said :_So Jude Harrison isn't so innocent? 50 grand or I go to press, and that may not be the last of me. _She couldn't beleive it, That jerk want's 50 thousand dollars!

Darius: "What happened Jude?" She decided to tell him all about meeting Mason at his concert, then drinking with a 'nice' stranger, getting drunk, him offering to help her get to her room, then all she remembers is waking up, and having Jamie come get her.

Darius: "Jude right now we are dealing with money specialist, you have no clue what you have done, this might ruin your career. I advise you to stay low for a while. " She had similar thoughts.

Jude: "Yeah, I'll do better than that.." she said sadly and walked out of his office. She went into Studio A and Tommy and Kwest were still there. They saw she looked upset, they thought it was about Tommy but it wasn't, they both got up from there seats. Jude went up to Kwest and hugged him tightly, he was suprised at her actions, but he held her and rubbed her back as to comfort her. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and pulled away. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Kwest: "Jude." He looked at her with worry, she gave him a sad smile and left the studio. Tommy stared at Kwest dumbfounded.

Tommy: "Kwest, somethings going on. I just feel it. It seemed as if she was saying goodbye."

Kwest: "I dont know, but I don't think she would just leave, maybe she's just upset about YOU." Tommy rolled his eyes. Kwest didn't know what happened. He was worried though.

**Jude walked out of G-Major and began to walk home when she looked across**

**the street and saw SME in a small caffe, she decided to go join them.**

As soon as she walked in they saw her and yelled for her to come over, she smiled and went to sit beside them.

Wally: "Major Dude, why the long face?" he asked while Kyle faked tears. _They are so dumb, but I love them, _she thought.

Jude: "Nothing, I'm fine, really." Speid looked at her skeptically, but decided to let it go.

Kyle: "So anyway guys, the monkey jumped out of the tree, and beat up the dog!" they all laughed at Kyles childish ways. Jude stayed with them for about 2 hours, when everyone decided to leave, Speid and Jude walked home together. They talked a little along the way, about Karma, and how she was rude. Then the subject changed entirely.

Jude: "Listen Speed, your my best friend you know that right?"

Speid: "Yeah, of course, your my best bud." He smiled. She felt a little guilty about what she was planning.

Jude: "Just know that your always going to be bestfriend, no matter where I am. And I love you okay?"

Speiderman: "Jude, whats going on, your scaring me." He gave her a worried look.

Jude: "Uh, nothing, nothing's going on." They stopped at her house. She looked at Speiderman and gave him a small smile, just like Kwest she gave him a big hug, a good bye hug, and kissed him on the cheek. But with Speid, she left him a note in his pocket, which she knew he wouldn't find till tomorrow. She looked at him and had to wipe her watery eyes.

Jude: "You promise to always be my bestfriend right?" she asked softly.

Speid: "Of course, Jude whats going on?" Jude was acting strangely, and he didn't know why.

Jude: "Nothing, I was just making sure." She was such a liar, she felt terrible, but if he knew the truth he would stop her.

Speid: "Jude, I know we had a fight, but it's over. You will always be my bestfriend, no matter what happens, always for forever."

Jude: "Okay Speed, bye." She smiled sadly. She walked inside her house. No one was home, Dad was probally off with some date, Sadie was staying at a friends, mom was still in Europe with Don.

Jude went up to her room and packed all of her stuff, and sent Sadie an email that she knew she would check tomorrow, as soon as she woke up like she always does. She booked a flight and left in the middle of the night, but not before going to the post office and leaving Tommy a letter.

**Ah! Whats gonna happen? Where's Jude going? You will have to reveiw to find out!**


	7. She's Leaving Home

**A/N- Srry this chapter came a little late. I usually post almost everyday, and I hate it when people don't update often so sry and BTW Patsy is alive in this fanfic, anyways enough of my rambling, here's the chapter! D**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. I do own the character Lucy._

**It was 9:00 and Speiderman was in his room, about to laundry, when ****he found Jude's note to him in his pants pocket.**

"What's this?" he mumbled to himself. He stared at the perfectly folded paper and on the outside in Jude's sloppy handwriting, it said his name. He opened it up in wonder. Reading the first sentence alone, made him frown and worry. The letter clearly said:

_Dear Speed,_

_I wrote you this note to tell you goodbye. I guess by the time you read this, I will already be gone. I am no longer in Toronto. No one knows where I am, and I'm sorry, but no one can know, not even you. I don't want anyone to find me. I don't think I'm ever coming back. Before you start blaming yourself, it's not your fault. I may have left for selfish reasons, but you are not part of why I left. You are the best, bestfriend, that anyone could ever have. And please beleive me when I say, I am so guilty for leaving you behind. But I know that it doesn't matter where I am, you will always be my bestfriend, and in my heart. It doesn't matter if I'm in Toronto, because my love for you and our friendship will not die, no matter where we are. You have always been there for me, in all our good times and bad. So none of this is your fault in anyway. I know it might be the cowardly thing to do, by running. But maybe it has to be this way. Everything that has happened, is too much for me, and I couldn't breathe anymore. It may be very selfish of me, but if anyone would understand me, it would be you. And I know you knew about how I felt, because I know Speed, if I stayed in Toronto, I would break. My family is torn apart, all I have is Sadie, and I feel terrible about leaving her. Maybe you and Kwest could look out for her, for me? Then the whole Tommy thing, watching someone you love, engaged with a kid, is like suffocating. Every second, you can breath less and less, until your finally gone. And I feel that way. Other than that, there are things that you don't know, things I wish I could tell you, but I can't, and please trust me, it's because I want to keep you safe. But Speed, I know it may be too much to ask, but please don't hate me. If you do I understand. The sad truth is I probally wont talk to you ever again. But you needed to know all of this, because even when we said goodbye last night, you didn't know that it could be the last time we ever saw eachother. And I wanted you to know that if I'm gone, you can have this letter, and remember me. And every memory we had, because each memory is engraved in my brain. Every joke, every prank, I still hear your voice saying Dude. Please give everyone the love that I cant give. I sent Sadie an email, so she will probally know the same time as you. I even sent Tommy a letter. Tell Jamie that I'll miss him, and make sure that he keeps Patsy in line. By the way, under my bed, there are things like photo albums and stuff there that I want you to have. Tell Wally and Kyle, that I'll miss them and that they rock. Maybe you guys can go solo, you can touch people with your voice. And you may be a goof, but I can see the real you, and I know your deep and music means something to you. And I know you will take the music world by storm. I'll always be your biggest fan. I will never forget you, I hope you dont forget me. You are my bestfriend. Love ya Speed._

_Always for forever, _

_Love always,_

_Jude_

A single tear strolled down his cheek. He didn't know what to feel. He felt overwhelmed, sad, even a little angry. But he tried to not be angry, because it would be the last thing she would want. He just wanted to pretend that she was on a vacation, that she was coming back in a few weeks. But a part of him knew she was serious, and wouldn't come back. He couldn't help but be angry, he went up to the mirror, and punched it. The reality, and the blood in his fist, made him realize, he didn't lose his bestfriend, because she would always be his best friend. He got his jacket, and car keys and went to G-Major.

**Sadie was at the receptionist desk like usual, she thought Jude was already at G-Major, ****about to check her email when Speid came in and walked up to her desk.**

Speiderman looked upset, hurt, even a little angry. Sadie wondered what was up with him.

Speid: "Sadie, did you read your email yet?" he said impatiently, she stared at him stangely.

Sadie: "No, I was just about to, why?" She clicked open her inbox.

Speid: "Read Jude's email." He said sadly. She clicked open, wondering why Jude would send her email when they live together.

The email said:

_Dear Sades,_

_I left Toronto, and I'm not coming back. _

Sadie looked up at Speiderman, who gave her a look that said he didn't know either.

_I'm sorry that I'm leaving you but I have to. Everything is just so messed up, and I need to start over. Our family has been torn apart Sadie, and you are all I have. With the divorce, Dad is always gone and mom is somewhere in Europe, it's just you and me. You have been awesome, Sades. You were always there for me, even though when we fought, I could always depend on you. I didn't just leave because of our family, or even Tommy, there are other things going on in my life right now. And I feel so guilty for leaving you, I really am, but Sadie, you don't need to take care of me anymore. I'm no longer a burden. I'm so thankful for everything you have given me. Sadie you are a beautiful person, and you deserve to live for yourself. You should go away to college, or do whatever you want, because you deserve happiness. I don't want to take the easy way out, but Sadie things are out of my control. Sadie, do you remember when we were little kids, and I used to scared of the thunder when it rained, and instead of going to mom and dad I always went to you. It's because you make me feel safe, and I love you._

Sadie started to cry a little bit.

_I've depended on you long enough, and no one could ever be a better sister. And who knows? Maybe Kwest is the one for you, maybe you guys will get married someday, but I just want you to be happy. I love you so much Sades, please forgive me. _

_From your very grateful sister,_

_Love always,_

_Jude_

Sadie started to cry harder, and Speiderman tried to comfort her in a hug, but it was hard to help someone else, when you feel horrible yourself. He was even a little misty eyed. Everyone in G-Major stopped and watched them, but they could care less. Tommy and Kwest were in the studio, when they came out and saw Sadie sobbing into Speidermans chest, Speid not looking good either.

Tommy: "What the heck is going on?" He didn't get Jude's letter yet.

Kwest: "I don't know, but lets find out." He ran up to Sadie as she pulled away from Speid, and held on to Kwest for dear life, sobbing. Kwest and Tommy stared at Speid for answers, but instead he just shook his head and stared at the floor. Darius then came out, and got everyone's attention.

Darius: "Sadie, Speiderman, Kwest & Tommy in my office now!" he screamed while they went in D's office and sat down.

Darius: "Now, will someone tell me what's going on?" Kwest and Tommy shrugged.

Speid: "Jude's gone." Everyone stared at him and then Sadie in disbeleif.

Sadie: "She ran away, she's not coming back." she said softly. No one could beleive it.

Tommy: "What? How do you know this?" he asked, he didn't want to beleive it. No, they must be mistaken, Jude doesn't run. He took out his phone, and called her but it went to automatic voicemail. She had left her cell phone behind with her credit cards.

Speiderman: "She left me a note, and Sadie an email. We don't know where she is, but she said she wont see us again." Kwest was silent and Darius and Tommy turned angry.

Darius: "Well what did she say in them? I want to see them!" But Speiderman shook his head no.

Speid: "She wouldn't want anyone to see the note. It was a goodbye letter. It was something I could have to remember her by. There's no clue's, but I'm guessing she's somewhere in the States." Tom felt hurt he didn't get some kind of note. He was so mad & upset, he couldn't take it anymore.

Tommy: "Well then tell us why she left then! Jude suddenly leaves for no reason, come on! That's not like her at all! What are you hiding?"

Kwest: "Tom! Listen to yourself! Why the heck do you think she left? She's been broken for a long time." he yelled at his bestfriend.

Tommy: "But Jude doesn't run! That's so unlike her!"

That's when Speid lost it. He knew her decision had a lot to do with Tommy. And he's accusing him of lying?

Speiderman: "Listen Quincy! She probally would be here if it wasn't for you! You leave for 2 months and come back with a kid and a fiance! You don't think that got to her?!? I have no clue where my bestfriend is, and I'm if I'm ever going to see her again, and I know you are the main reason for her running away!" Tom no longer felt mad, just guilty. But he didn't expect this. Sadie tried to calm Speid down.

Darius: "That's enough. Jude is still 17, so we can get the police involved. I don't just care about money, I also care about Jude."

Sadie: "She doesn't want to be found. I want my baby sis, but she could no longer stay here. It was too hard." Speid nodded.

Speid: "She did mention that something else is going on with her, and she wanted to keep me safe."

Kwest: "What do you think it is?" Sadie gave him a look saying she didn't know.

Darius: "I think I might know."

**Meanwhile, in NewYork, Jude sat in a hotel, ****wondering what to do with herself.**

She decided she needed a new job, to go with her new life. She decided to call the only person she knew in New York. Her friend Lucy. Jude met Lucy through her cousin. She wouldn't tell anyone where Jude was.  
Lucy: "Hello?" She didn't reconize the number.

Jude: "Hey Lucy, it's Jude."

Lucy: "Oh my gosh, Jude it's so nice to hear from you, so what are you up to?"

Jude: "Well actually, I'm in NewYork..." she heard a gasp on the other line.

Lucy: "Jude what are you doing in NewYork?"

Jude: "I sorta.. ran away."

Lucy: "Jude!"

Jude: "I know, I know, but I had to leave. I was wondering if you had a place where I could stay?"

Lucy: "Well of course Jude, your welcome to to stay with me for as long as you want."

Jude: "Thanks so much."

Lucy: "It's no problem really." She gave her the adress, Jude was about to hang up.

Lucy: "By the way Jude, when you get here your telling me everything." Jude sighed.

Jude: "Okay Luce, see ya in a bit, bye."

Lucy: "Bye Jude." They hanged up and Jude got all of her stuff and went to meet up with her new roomate.

**What does Tommy's letter say? Will Darius tell the truth? Review and I'll tell you! D**


	8. Ask Me Why

_A/N-Srry this chapter took long! I had writers block. In chap 6, there were things that happened that I left out, I didn't forget the details, I did it for suspense. They will be reveiled in this chapter. One line in the letter to Tommy is from Joshua Radin's song, 'the one you knew' . Enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star, but I own the character Lucy._

**Back in Darius's office everyone is sitting impatiently wondering **

**what Darius was keeping hidden.**

Tommy: "Well? What do you know Darius? Out with it!"

Darius sighed, hoping the people in the room didn't bite his head off after hearing what he has to say.

Darius: "Jude is being blackmailed."

Everyone stared at him in shock. But anger rushed through Tommy's viens. He shot up from his chair.

Tommy: "What the hell are you talking about Darius? Who? What? When? Why did-"

Darius: "If you can remain silient for a little while, I will tell you everything." Tommy nodded and sat back down.

Darius: "Well I might as well just start from the beginning. When Tommy left, Jude was a wreck we all knew that." Tommy's face fell.

"The night of her album release party, she left and went to Mason's concert. She met some guy and got really drunk."

Speiderman started to get angrier and angrier with each word.

Darius: "He 'helped' her get upstairs to her room. And she basically passed out on the bed. He took off her clothes and took abrupt pictures of her."

Speid shot up from his chair and started pacing, and made his hands into tight fist, so tight his knuckles turned white. Tommy looked as if he was ready to kill someone, and Kwest was basically the same way as both of them.

Darius: "She had her underwear on, but still it was pretty bad." The people in the room calmed down just a little bit.

Darius "The other day Jude got a package. Inside was the photo's and the punk wanted 50 grand. What I didn't know was that there was a threat saying he would come after her and who she loved, for reasons unknown." Darius sighed.

Darius: "I was really upset about the pictures, so I told her to stay away from G-Major for a while, and I had Liam tell her she wasn't welcome here for a couple of months. I'm very sorry. I didn't know this would happen."

Speid: "She wanted to protect me.." He softly said in realization.

To say Tommy was pissed, would be an understatement. He had fire in his eyes and felt rage in his heart. Then he went up to Darius and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and started screaming.

Tom: "HOW COULD YOU TELL HER THAT! Are you a damn idiot! Music is her life, take it away and of course something like this happens! You damn near planted the idea in her head!" He yelled in rage. Kwest and Speid ran up to Tom and pulled him away.

Darius: "Do not make me out to be the bad guy Tom! It's more your fault then anyone's!" He yelled back.

Tommy: "I had thing's I needed to take care of. I left in a bad way, I know that. But I didn't think Jude would go and get drunk!"

Pretty much everyone in the room wanted to punch Tommy after that.

Speiderman: "Oh so you had ' Things you needed to take care of ' ?" he mocked.

"You left her, right before you gave her hope. You left for another chick!"

Tommy: "And my daughter! How was I soposed to know Jude would react in such a way?" Sadie rolled her eyes.

Kwest: "You must be more stupid than I thought! Don't sit here and say that you didn't know she would react like that. Of course you knew! Everybody in this room knew! That girl cares about you more than words can say, and I have no clue why. She stopped being Jude the moment you left Toronto. She became this fragile thing that would break, and no one could do anything about it, but you! You had to be selfish! Get a grip!"

Sadie had enough screaming, Jude would not want Kwest and Tommy to fight over her.

Sadie: "SHUT UP!" She screamed as loud as she could. Everyone stopped at stared at her, almost forgetting her presence a moment before.

Sadie: "Jude wanted to protect me, and you guys. That is a big reason why she left. But her heart was broken. And so was our family. It would be easy to blame Tommy and Darius, but everything all together made her leave. Maybe you guys could stop bickering for a minute and realize that she is really gone." And with that, she wiped her tears and left the men in shame.

**Back in New York Jude walked up to Lucy's apartment building.**

It was like any other basic New York apartment building. Tall and made of bricks. She walked into the building and went straight to Lucy's door and Lucy was already by the door waiting for her. Lucy was a unique type of beautiful. She was about 5' 5 and had curly blonde out of control hair that was half up with a clip, (a/n- basically like Sarah Jessica Parker) she was thin but had some curves, she had blue/gray eyes and was a pale white. She wore tight dark blue ripped jeans, and a navy blue tanktop and underneath that a baby blue tanktop. As soon as she saw Jude she ran up to her and hugged her.

Lucy: "Judith! I missed you, but you have a lot of explaining to do. Come on, I'll help you with your bags." She grabbed a suitcase.

Jude: "Ugh, why do you call me that. I missed you too Luce, I know I have to explain, and thank you for all of this." Lucy smiled and they brought her stuff inside.

The apartment was like Lucy, crazy and creative. It was sort of like a girlier version of 620. She had posters and paintings all over the walls. Lucy was a painter, so as soon as you walked in you saw an empty canvas. It was a small 2 bedroom apartment, but it was comfortable. Jude and Lucy walked into the living room. The walls were light blue, and there was a brown arm chair, a lime green arm bean bag chair, and a huge beige couch with all different color pillows. Lucy was color crazy. Covering up the wall was a huge cd rack with all different types of genres of music. Jude would like living here.

Lucy: "The guest room is yours, so follow me." They walked of the living room, into the guest room, her and Lucy's bedroom were seperated by the bathroom. This was going to be her new room, Jude thought. It was pretty plain, very light green walls, a queen sized bed with a bright purple comforter with lavender and lime green pillows. Jude chuckled.

Jude: "Do you only get female guest, Luce?" Lucy looked around the room.

Lucy: "Hey! Purple and lime green are my favorite colors, so whatever." Jude laughed.

Lucy: "Anyway, you gonna tell me why you left your rockstar life in Canada?" She sat on the bed. Jude sighed and sat down.

Jude: "It's a long story.." Lucy smirked.

Lucy: "Well Judith, I have time."

Jude: "Okay, well it all started when.."

**Darius let Tommy have the rest of the day off so he was at home checking**

**the mail, when he found a letter from Jude. (Tom's Pov)**

Tom noticed that the letter was from her house, and from the date he knew it was before she left. He didn't know what to think, at least she cared enough to write him a letter. But he knew what kind of letter it was, and was scared to open it. He ripped it open. He smiled when he noticed Jude's rather sloppy handwriting. That handwriting that he saw so many times, the handwriting for all the beautiful lyrics she wrote in the past three years that he knew her. He started to read.

_Dear Tommy,_

_I guess you know I'm gone by now. I already wrote Speid and Sadie, but for you I don't really know what to write. You can be so complicated Quincy. _He smiled sadly.

_There's so many words that I want to say, but none of them sum up to what I feel right now. Tom, I know you wont beleive this unless I tell you myself, I'm not coming back Tommy. _No, I refuse to beleive I will never see her again.

_Don't come looking for me, I don't want to be found. Well that is if you even care enough anyway. _What? Of course he cared.

_If you could understand, I am tired of feeling like this. Tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, and everyone I love runs away. __I mean, am I that bad? I put on a fake smile for everyone, Speid knew how I felt though, you can ask him if you don't understand, though I know you do. Tommy, I have so much to ask you. But all I can come up with is, why? Why did you leave, why did you kiss me, why did you come back with her? When you left, every night, I cried, but I kept on hoping you would come back. And I kept having this dream, and when you came back, I would jump into your arms and we would be together. But everyday I had to wake up to harsh reality. And I had the same dream every night, and the day you came back, I stopped having the dream. And I realized, that I could never be with you. And what I feel, would never be mutual. I could write you a really long letter saying so much. But all you really need to know is that I, I love you. I loved you when I met you, I loved you when I was fifteen, I loved you when you kissed me on my birthday, I loved you when we made music, I loved you when I threw you into the hot tub, and I love you now. And without you I'm some one else. One reason why I'm running Tommy, is because I can't stand to stay. I can't look at you or see you with her. I can't, and even though I've been hurt before, I never felt this way. Even though I feel so much pain, I still feel love. And I'm okay with that. And there are things about me, that I'm ashamed of, but if I stay something could happen to you, and I could never let that happen. I'd rather it be me than you. All I wish, is that your happy Tommy, and if it's with Jessica, then I hope it works out. If you love her, then be happy. Like you told me that one time, __It'll be like always, It's you and me. And we can be us, from wherever we are, we can still be whatever the heck we are. It may be the hardest thing I will ever have to do, but I needed to leave. I want you to be safe, and happy. In Speed's letter I said, ' I wanted you to know that if I'm gone, you can have this letter, and remember me. And every memory we had, because each memory is engraved in my brain', but with you every memory is engraved in my heart. When I met you Tom, you saw me, for who I wanted to be. I'll always be the one you knew, from your love I grew, into complete and whole. And you are such a beautiful person, you opened me up and my love come pouring out. You have a part of me that I didn't know existed. I will never forget the music we made together, and what we shared. We will always have music, Tom, always. No one could take that away. If I could die so we could be together, I would. So this is finally goodbye. Forever. You'll start your new life and I'll start mine. I will miss you so much, I already do. I love you Quincy._

_Goodbye Tommy,  
Love always,  
Jude_

For the first time in for ever, he started to cry. He was started sobbing uncontrollably. He hasn't felt like this, for such a long time. The girl he loved, he would never see again. It was his fault. He let her get away. And he didn't want to admit it was over. But maybe it was.

**There it is! Review !! **


	9. To Know Her Is To Love Her

_A/N- This chapter took sorta long and I'm sorry. But I want to keep everyone in suspense. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star, I do own Johnathan, Ryan and Petey._

**It was about 9 am in New York and Jude was wide awake.**

Jude didn't sleep all night. She told Lucy her story and it took almost all night. But that's not what kept her awake. She kept thinking about everyone back home. She didn't want to, she wanted to start over, but she couldn't. It was hard not to wake up thinking of going to the studio with Kwest, and hanging out with Speiderman and goofing off with him, Kyle and Wally. It was hard not to think of Sadie and her constant girl talk. She thought of everyone and everything. Even Darius. He was really mad the last time she saw him, but so was she. Liam practically told her she was laid off! Only her, Darius and Liam knew about the pictures. Karma luckily only saw one picture, that wasn't that bad. Jude tried to fight the urge to think about Tommy. The way he laughed, the way he smelled, the goofy grin that he got sometimes. She missed him like crazy, but of course he didn't miss her. He was probally glad to have her out of his hair. '_He's probally off laughing and having fun with Jessica.'_ Jude thought bitterly. But Tommy wasn't her problem anymore. He was getting married and probally going to have more kids with Jessica. Jude also thought about her friends and her sister. Speiderman probally hates her, and she couldn't blame him. She left without a real goodbye. Just like Tommy did to her. She knew Speid would be crushed, and he didn't deserve that. Sadie didn't deserve it either. She has been such a good sister, taking care of Jude and keeping the family together. Sadie always gave, and she always took. To repay her, she left her out in the cold without a real, face to face goodbye. Someone that Jude didn't think about much was Kwest. He became one of her good friends. He was like the brother she never had, and she didn't even leave him a goodbye. She felt really bad about that. She left him a short video but thats it. Under her bed she left a few boxes with things she would like her friends to have. Jude sighed, feeling guilty as ever. She left her new room and walked out into the kitchen. Lucy was already there with coffee. She had gotten up a while ago to get ready. Her wild curly hair was straightened and pulled back into a neat bun. And she was wearing dark blue jeans, and a white long sleeved button down shirt, and a small brown vest over it. She had on light makeup, she didn't need much, she was only 19 years old. She wore knee high brown boots.

Lucy: "Hey sleepy. Did you sleep okay?" She smiled warmly at Jude and offered her a cup of coffee, which Jude gladly took.

Jude: "I didn't get much sleep. I was up thinking about everyone back home." Lucy shot her a sympathetic look.

Lucy: "Jude.." Jude sighed.  
Jude: "I'm fine, I made the right decision. That's that. Now, since I live in New York, I need a job now." Jude said, quickly changing the subject of her old home. Lucy smirked.

Lucy: "You sure are fast to change the subject of Toronto. Well I can help you out with your job problem. You can work at the restaurant with me. I know it's kind of lame, but you said you didn't want anyone to find you, and-" Jude cut her off.

Jude: "No, it's perfect. Thanks Luce." She smiled. Lucy's family owned a small, friendly restaurant, Lucy handled buisness and profits. Lucy's three brothers also worked there.  
Lucy: "Well I'm already ready for work. If you want to get started you should come with me." Jude nodded.

Lucy: "We have to leave by 10:30, so get ready. You already met my brothers Johnathan, Petey and Ryan, they'll make work fun for you." She smiled.

Jude had met them while visiting Lucy once, Johnathan was the oldest, 21 years old. Petey was the youngest, at 15 and hilarious, like Speid. Ryan was 19 years old and alot like Jude, they got along very well.

Jude: "Well I can't wait, I'll go get ready." She tried her best to smile, but Lucy wasn't convinced. Jude left to take a shower. Lucy knew she wasn't okay. Last night she heard her crying and saw her holding a picture of her friends and family. Everytime she smiled it wasn't genuine. Lucy felt helpless in the matter. At about 10:25 Jude emerged from her room. She wore faded blue jeans, a navy green band t- shirt, her leather jacket and dark green converse. She straightened her blonde locks, and put on some makeup.

Lucy: "Ready to go Judith?" She said as she grabbed her keys.

Jude: "Yeah, lets go. it's time for me to go start my new life." She mumbled the last part.

**Meanwhile back in Toronto, Tommy was at home, having yet another fight with Jessica.**

Jessica: "Stop moping around the house Tom! Ever since you came home from G- Major you've been acting like a ghost. Why don't you spend some time with Anna? I'm tired of you acting like some depressed teenager! When we got back from Montana, you act so far away. It's that Jude girl. Why is it the overly dramatic, britney wannabe, _child_ get's more attention from you than me! We have an agreement Tom!" Tommy grew angry at her 'child' statement.

Tommy: "Do you ever just shut up!" She stared at him, shocked at his sudden outburst.

Tommy: "First of all, Jude is not a child! Nor a britney wanna be! So you don't talk about her that way! Second of all, I know we have an agreement. Trust me you'll never let me forget it!" Jessica gaped at him, suprised at him for sticking up for Jude like that.

Jessica: "Your engaged to _me _Tom, not _that girl_, don't you think you should spend more time with me? What makes her mean anything at all. Who care's about her?"

Tommy: "I DO! Because I.. I have to go." And with that, he grabbed his car keys and ran out to his car and drove to G-Major. When he got there, he parked his hummer and went inside. It felt so empty. Sadie wasn't at the front desk. SME wasn't joking around on the couch. The interns weren't even gossiping like usual. He walked into Studio A, which was not the same without Jude inside. It was like, since Jude wasn't there, the air got sucked out of G- Major. Kwest was sitting in his chair as usual. He looked like crap, and his face showed how upset how he really was. Tommy wasn't any better though. Kwest and Tommy both had dark circles under their eyes. Kwest was closer to her than other people knew. They actually were really good friends, they would goof around together, and go to lunch together and hang out outside of G-Major. Even though she was sad when Tommy was gone, he used to cheer her up. She was gone for one day, and he missed her so much. He was a bit upset that he got no letter, or email or anything.

Kwest: "Hey man, how you holding up?" Kwest asked. He stared at his bestfriend, clearly worried, but too upset himself to help him.

Tommy: "Not too good." Kwest sighed and looked into the soundbooth.  
Kwest: "Darius let Sadie have the day off. Even he looked a little sad today. He said that you, me and SME could leave early if we wanted too."

Tommy: "Well why are you here then? If Darius said.."  
Kwest: "I don't really know. I guess I sort of want answers. I wish I could help. Sadie is really upset, and I am too, but I feel helpless."

Tommy: "Me too. And it's mostly my fault. I miss her." Kwest continued to stare at the floor.

Kwest: "Me too." He looked around and sighed.

**Speiderman was with Kyle and Wally at 620 when he called Sadie.**

She had been in Jude's room, looking at her stuff and crying. She heard the phone ring and picked it up.

Sadie: "Hello?" She said softly, she tried to pull herself together so her voice wouldn't show she was crying.

Speid: "Hey Sadie, it's Speed." He said just as softly.

Sadie: "Hey Speed." Her voice cracked a little, and Speiderman noticed.

Speiderman: "Are you okay Sadie?" He asked.

Sadie: "Yeah, I'm fine, (she sniffled) did you call for something?" She asked him, while her voice was a little back to normal.

Speiderman: "In my letter from Jude, she said under her bed there were photo albums, and stuff she wanted her friends to have. I thought maybe we can call everyone and come over and get them." He wanted whatever she left, because the letter was almost not enough. He needed some other part of his bestfriend.

Sadie: "Sure, I'll call Kwest and Tommy, you call Jamie, Patsy, Wally and Kyle. You guys can come over now."

Speid: "Well I'm with Wally and Kyle right now, so everyone will be there soon."

Sadie: "Alright, bye Speed."

Speid: "Bye." He turned to Kyle and Wally, "I just gotta call Jamie and Patsy, and we'll go after that." Twenty minutes later everyone was at the Harrison house.

Jamie: "So.. Are we all gonna just go into her room and take stuff?" He said trying to break the silence. Sadie and Speiderman looked at him.

Sadie: "No, me and Speiderman are going to bring the boxes down here into the living room. We'll sort everything out together. Tommy, do you want to help?" He was suprised that she wanted his help, but he nodded yes. The three, went upstairs into Jude's room. Tommy had never seen her room before. It reminded him so much of Jude, he saw a picture of him and her on her dresser. It was in the studio, he was holding her on his back, as if giving her a piggy back ride. Her arms were around his neck and they both were smiling. Memories flooded through his mind, and he almost couldn't take it. They looked under the bed, and there were a few boxes, filled with photo albums, cd's, and other things. Speid and Tommy took two boxes each and Sadie took one. They went downstairs, and put them on the coffee table.

Patsy: "Well I guess we should see what kind of junk blondie left behind." Sadie smiled sadly. She then started taking things out. Jude left Jamie most of her cd's and pictures of them. She left Patsy her collection of beer caps, and oddly a self help book. Sadie, she left the boots that she always stole, lots of pictures, and other things. Kyle and Wally got guitar picks, funny pictures of them, and some video's they made on tour. She left Kwest pictures of course, a lot of mixed cd's, and a tape of looney toons (which was an inside joke of theirs), and some video that he would watch later. Speiderman got her favorite stuffed animal Mr. Fluffles, a photo album that was labeled 'Bestfriends Always for Forever' inside she said it was for her Bart from Lisa. She also left some video's of them together, and her gibson guitar! Everyone thought that was really unfair, except Speid of course. She also left him her diary that had songs in there. Last came Tommy. They didn't record any video's together, so he didn't have any of those. She gave him a photo album with lots of pictures of them together. She left him a journal full of songs, her favorite cd's, and a mixed cd that she said reminded her of him. They all took their things and went home.

**Back in NewYork, Jude was at Lucy's familys restaurant 'The Thomas Diner'**

As soon as Jude walked in Petey tackled her in a hug, Johnathan and Ryan heard a girl squeal and went out to see that it was Jude. Ryan's eyes became wide in shock.

Ryan: "Jude?" She looked up from Petey, and saw Ryan and Johnathan and smiled. John went to help her up.

Johnathan: "Are you alright pickle?" She glared at him for the use of the childish nick name he gave her long ago.

Jude: "Yes, thank you. It's good to see you all again." She smiled and hugged Johnathan. She walked up to Ryan nervously and held out her hand. The last time they saw eachother they had a small fight, nothing big, but still a fight.

Jude: "Hey Rya- uh Lucy's brother, person?" He looked down at her hand and smiled. He took her hand in his, then pulled her into a hug. She sighed in releif.

Ryan: "Hey Harrison." She smiled sadly, remembering how many times Tommy and Speid called her that. She pulled away.

Petey: "So what bring's you to New York? Run away from your rock star life?" Lucy gave him a look telling him to shut up. He stared at Jude in wonder.

Johnathan: "Oh my god, you really ran away?" She turned away and didn't look at any of them.

Jude: "Well.. Kind of.."

"Jude!" "Pickle!" Ryan and John said at the same time.

Petey: "So what happened? Are the police after you or something. Were you doing drugs on the road? Kill your back up band??" Everyone looked at him like he was the dumbest person they ever met. Jude just glared at him.

Petey: "Well, you never know. I mean the life of a rockstar. No offense but you guys do some crazy stuff." John laughed and ignored Jude's glare.

Jude: "Well no, I didn't do anything like that. But listen, no one can know where I am. You can't tell anyone. I'm never going back. No one can know _anything._"

Petey: "Because your hiding something?" He half asked, half stated.

Jude: "No, it's a long story. You all should sit down." They did as told, and she told them her story. Leaving out a little, she said she was being blackmailed, but didn't give all the details. She would work at the restaurant as a waitress, and they would tell no one who she was.

_There it is! Kind of boring, but it was basically a filler. Review:D_


	10. Carry That Weight

_A/N- Hey guys! I'm aware this post took a little long, but I have been busy lately with company, and sometimes I'm just too tired to write. So I finally just sat myself down so that I could write something good for you guys! I tried to make her video to Kwest not too emotional. I didn't want it to be all sad and sappy sorta like her letters. Her and Kwest were usually happy and goofy while they were friends. Hope you like this chapter:D Leave me lots of reveiws, each one counts!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star._

**Everyone was a little drained from the day. Jude left everyone some kind of personal memory, and it was hard ****to deal with. Kwest was at home that night and popped in the video she left him. **

After hearing some shuffling and moving noises, Jude's face finally appeared on the screen. She was apparently in her room, on her bed while recording this. She smiled sadly at the camera and then spoke.

Jude: "Hey Kwest." She sighed. "I guess your sort of wondering why I made you this video. Well, I'm sure you know that I left, and I left Speid, Sadie and even Tommy each a letter. I really couldn't bare to write anymore heart wrenching letters so I decided to say the words instead of writing them would be a better approach. Listen Kwest, I know we haven't always been the best of bud's, but we grew closer when Tommy was gone. You've come to be one of my best friends. We shared a lot of good memories."  
She sighed. "Listen Kwest, I know you are usually the peacemaker, so If it's not too much to ask, try to keep things under control. I know me leaving will cause drama, that's inevitable. I, I," She stuttered, starting to get emotional.  
"I just want everyone to be happy. To go on with their lives, and not dwell on my absence. You and Sadie are dating, I don't want her to feel like she lost a sister. I know you can comfort her. I'm also worried about Speed, I don't want him to be upset, like I just abandoned him, like I left and it was his fault." She sighed again.  
"When Tommy left, to wherever he went to, I felt like it was my fault, and I found it very hard to try to move on with my life. I don't want the people that I love upset and feeling that way. I just want everyone to move on. I know it seem's like I left because of Tommy.. But the thing is, it hurts so bad Kwest. I feel like I keep getting rejected over and over, and I just get so close and have the door slammed in my face. Tommy doesn't care about me, and I need to move on. But everywhere and everything reminds me of him, and I just want to forget. My life is so messed up, that I need to forget. I know it's a really selfish thing to do, I need you to try not to hate me. I'm really sorry for leaving how I did, and I will miss you Kwest. Take care of Sadie and Speid, and you can_ try _to keep Patsy in line." She chuckled a bit.  
"You mean a lot to me, so thanks for everything. For all the times you listened to me, and let me cry onto your shoulder, and for all the advice you gave me, I love you for that. I consider you one of my best friends. You and Sadie make the perfect pair, so I wish you two the best. I'll miss you and your big sandwiches!" She laughed.  
"I love ya Kwest, goodbye." She blew the camera a kiss and it shut off.

Kwest was very angry at that moment. Not at Jude, but at Tommy. She left because everything reminded her of him! Some one who turned out to be one of his best friends, (and his girlfriend's sister,) was hurt so bad by Tom, that she had to run away from the pain. All she asked was for all the love she gave, to be returned, just a little. Maybe Tom did care about Jude, but if he did, Jude wouldn't know. He was too much of a coward to tell her. And he was with stupid Jessica. Tom Quincy was good for one thing, and that was making Jude feel like crap. She fell for someone like Tom, who only cared about himself. Kwest was going to miss Jude, and he was going to try to comfort everyone like she wanted him too. Only no one would comfort him.

**Back in New York Jude is working at the ''Thomas Diner''. It's been a week since she's been in New York. (Jude's Pov)**

Jude just finished dealing with a very rude customer. He kept making her go back and do the order again. Each time pointing out some thing wrong, like his fork wasn't clean or his burger was dry. She was just about finished and waiting to go on her lunch break, when Ryan came up to her.

Ryan: "Hey Harrison." he said as he walked up to her. She immediately pulled him aside and shushed him.  
Jude: " I don't want people to know who I am, and where I am. Remember?" She whispered.  
Ryan: "Ohh, yeah, sorry." He whispered back.  
Jude: "It's okay." She smiled. _He's such a dork_, she thought.  
Ryan: "Well I was wondering, since I partially own this place, which makes me sort of like your boss." He rambled, while staring at the floor. She chuckled.  
Ryan: "Well maybe I'm not your boss, per say but um, listen you can have the day off if you want, and I was wondering if you want to go out and get lunch together, you know like old times?" He asked her as he brought his head up from the floor to look at her.  
Jude: "Sure, it'd be my pleasure to have the day off." They both laughed. Ryan sighed in relief.  
Ryan: "It's just, we haven't hung out at all since you've been here. So I thought you didn't want to hang out, because of that fight we had, and-"  
Jude: "Ry, I'm not upset about the fight anymore. It was ages ago, besides I thought you were still a little mad." He smiled at her.  
Ryan: "Nah, it was stupid. I shouldn't have told you who to date. That's your business, I have no right in telling you someone was wrong for you."  
Jude: "No, you were just trying to look out for me. You were right though, Steve turned out to be a jerk." She chuckled. _He was a cheating, jerk_.  
Ryan: "Well then, let's go have fun like we used to." She grabbed her coat.  
Jude: "Alright, let's go." They linked arms and walked out the door.

Her and Ryan became close again just like they used to be. She used to visit on almost every vacation she had, well before their small fight. Her and Ryan reminded her of her and Speiderman. They didn't make awesome music together, but they had the same stupid fun. He was a lot like Speid, who could never be replaced, but Ryan was kind of like her best friend too. He also reminded her a little of Tommy. Which was extremely weird. Ryan was her friend, her good buddy, but she never thought of him in the romantic type of way. But now that she thought of it, he was pretty cute.

_No, no, no, no Jude. You came here to get away, getting involved with Ryan would be a bad idea. But I do need to move on from Tommy.. Wait no! Ryan is not the guy for that, and it's too soon. I still love Tommy, and I don't want to be heart broken again. But Ryan wouldn't do that, he's my friend. JUST STOP JUDE!_ She fought inside her head.

Her and Ryan were walking, and she realized she just spaced out so she started paying attention to what he was saying.  
Ryan: "So I say we rent Lot's of movies, of all types. We can get a couple of the classics, I really love Leo McCarey films, he's one of the best you know."  
Jude: "I'm sorry, who? She laughed. And he stared at her like she was a mad woman. He wanted to be a director one day, he knew A LOT about movies.  
Ryan: "How can you not know him? He was the director of some of the best movie's ever made. You know, My son John? Satan never sleeps? Okay, I know you know this one, An Affair to Remember?" Her eyes widened, and she started jumping up and down.  
Jude: "Oh! I know that one! Lets get that!" He laughed at her childish ways. He held her shoulders down for her to stop.  
Ryan: "I don't know if they have that one, but it's worth a try. Come on." He laughed and put his arm around her shoulders as they walked to block buster.

**Tommy and Kwest were producing Karma in G-Major. Their had been a lot of yelling go on.**

Tommy: "Karma! Would you please just sing the song like I asked you to!" He yelled, sick of her, after less than an hour.  
Karma: "But it's boring that way! I don't want to sound like a grandma." She whined, trying to smile at Tom, but he ignored her.  
Tommy: "No it's not! Waste my Time, is not at all boring. Maybe if you would sing properly, you would see my point!" He screamed in exasperation. She turned to Kwest. 

Karma: "What do _you _think Kwest? Don't you think the song needs more _oomph_?" Kwest looked at her, clearly annoyed.

Kwest: "The way your making the song, isn't working. You cant whisper the whole time, you need to sing. Stop trying to make it overly sexy." She looked offended at this.

Karma: "Well _sorry, _for trying to make this song worth something." Kwest shook his head, he didn't want to hate her, but she is dissing _Jude's_ song.  
Karma: All though we all know that's a lost cause." She whispered the last part to herself, although the two men heard, and Speid who just walked in.

Speiderman: "You should be honored to sing one of her songs. She isn't just some one hit wonder like you. You don't deserve to sing 'Waste My Time.'" Tommy and Kwest smiled at Speid, for saying what they both wanted to say, but couldn't because she was their client.

Karma: "Yeah right. She is a waste of good recording time. Jude couldn't handle the spotlight, or any of her other problems. So she had to run away crying like a baby. _Ugh, _I don't even know why she ever won 'Instant Star', the show is for _real _talent. She sounds like a dying cat with a lack of fashion sense. And why are you even here, Speedy? Your lead singer's gone, G-Major shouldn't waste time with you anymore." Tommy couldn't contain his anger anymore, she just dissed Jude. Jude had more talent in her pinky then Karma had in her entire body.

Speid: "You know why you hate Jude? Because she's so much better and talented than you are. Even with her gone, people will still want her more than you. You don't even qualify to compete with her. Why do you think you only have a one year contract? They are planning to let you go. And the reason that I'm here is 'cause I have a contract." Karma's face was priceless. Speiderman smiled, knowing he had put her in her place. She walked out of the studio, mumbling something about water.

Kwest: "Finally! We cant tell her that because we're her producers. But thanks man." Speiderman nodded and tried to smile.

Speid: "No prob., so did the police find anything on Jude?" He said, his eyes filled with hope. Kwest gave him a sad look. Tommy was still angry & started pacing.

Tommy: "Maybe if they did their damn jobs, instead of eating donuts and drinking coffee all the time, they would find something!" He yelled, angry from the lack of info.

Kwest: "Listen man, I want Jude back as much as the next person, but the police are trying really hard. D even hired private investigators. You gotta calm down Tom."

Tommy: "If you were me, and cared about Jude the way I do, you'd be like me. You guys weren't that close." This had Kwest fuming. He got up from his chair.

Kwest: "You know what? I've had just about enough of you Tom! Why don't you just sit your ass down and shut up!" Tommy gulped and sat down in his chair.

Kwest: "I do care about Jude! You have no idea what your talking about, so just shut the hell up! Me and Jude got really close while you were gone. She became one of my best friends, and I became one of hers. Your the one who didn't care about her! All of this is your fault!" Speid looked scared to even be in the room. Tom was angry, _again. _

Tommy: "Stop blaming me for everything! I feel bad enough! Not everything is my fault, you don't know anything! She wouldn't even leave you an email!"

Kwest: "No Tom, I do know. She left me a goodbye video!" Tommy stared at him, giving him a look as to say, _What are you talking about? _

Kwest: "When we all got our stuff from Jude, she left me a video. So obviously we were good friends. That video broke my heart. She ran away because everything here reminded her of you! She wanted to forget you! She said you didn't care about her, and you rejected her." Kwest was tired of fighting with Tommy. It was all they did lately.

Tommy: "She really said that?" He said softly. Kwest nodded and sat down again.

Kwest: "Yeah, she did T, that's how she felt." He said just as softy. The room became dead silent. After a minute or two, Speiderman spoke.

Speid: "Did she, um, did she say anything about me?" The guitarist asked softly, while staring at Kwest, again with hope in his eyes. Kwest: "She said to take care of you, and not to feel like it's your fault. For you to move on with your life. And.." He stopped, not wanting more drama. Tommy and Speed looked at him. Speid: "And what? Tell me Kwest, it's been killing me." Kwest looked away, than at Tommy.  
Kwest: "She said she doesn't want you to feel abandoned, the way she felt when Tommy left." A single tear fell down Tom's cheek, but he wiped it away.


	11. Tomorrow Never Knows

_A/N- Hey everyone! I'm sincerely sorry this post took forever. I've been trying to make a video for this fan fic but theres something w/ my comp. and usually when something happens w/ my comp. I get my bro to fix it, (but he's on vacation.) So I'm going to try to do something w/ pictures or something, I don't know. Anyway.. This is important for the story, I know that Hunter wasn't the one who took the drunk pics of Jude, but he's going to be in my story. And Angie isn't his sister, she will be someone else. BTW, here's a banner, just take out the spaces. http // s69 . photobucket . com / albums / i66 / allma4l2 ?action view & current LIWTAbanner 3 . jpg_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star, and I do not own the song "Last Song" by Theory of a Deadman._

**Another week had gone by and Jude And Ryan were at her and Lucy's place **

**watching movie's and goofing around on the couch. **

Ryan: "Then.." He laughs uncontrollably, unable to speak. "Then, you covered your eyes, and went to leave the room," He laughs again, while she glares.

Ryan: "and you slipped on a towel making you fall into the bath tub with Petey!" He started laughing so hard that he had to hold his stomach, and fell off the couch. Jude blushed, and watched him crack up at the embarrassing memory. After 5 minutes his laughing died down.

Jude: "You done?" He nodded, smirking. She picked up the pillow next to her and started beating him with it.

Ryan: "Hey!" He grabbed the pillow away from her. He looked at her, pretending to be shocked and afraid of her.

Ryan: "Jeez, what happened? Didn't take your med's today?" She feigned shock and smacked him playfully on the arm.

Ryan: "Damn, you are violent." She looked at him, remembering all the times that Tommy and Kwest said that, and felt sad all over again. Ryan looked into her eyes.

Ryan: "What's wrong?" He said immediately, knowing something was wrong. He knew Jude inside and out. He had a feeling it was about her life in Toronto.

Jude: "Nothing, I'm fine." She said, looking up at him and giving him a fake smile. He could see right though it.

Ryan: "Your lying Jude, I can tell. Tell me what's really going on." He said, as he grabbed her hand and gave her an encouraging smile. She smiled sadly.

Jude: "It's just, I.." She paused, not wanting to let herself breakdown.

Jude: "I miss them all so much!" She sobbed, throwing her arms around Ryan. He rubbed her back to comfort her. '_Well, not breaking down was shot to hell_.' Jude thought.

Ryan: "Jude, maybe you should just call-" She pulled herself out of his grasp.

Jude: "No! No, no, no. Ryan, we've talked about this. Stop trying to make me talk to them. They can't know where I am. It's for their safety. And beside's it's better off this way, they don't need me around. I'm just a disease." She said softly. He grabbed her hand again.

Ryan: "Jude, they miss you so much. Everytime I turn on the news, I see your face. I hear about the police, going everywhere, and calling everyone." She wiped away her tears, sick of crying.

Jude: "I wish you were right Ryan, but your not." She got up and went into her room.

Ryan: "Trust me Jude, I'm right. When you left I felt like dying." He whispered to himself.

**Speiderman walked into Studio A, and Kwest and Tommy were already there.**

Tommy: "Vin? What are you doing here?" Speiderman sat down in one of the chairs and handed Tommy his journal with lyrics.

Kwest: "Darius gave him a contract. We're gonna be his producers." Tommy looked at both of them in shock.

Tommy: "What? Darius didn't tell me anything." Speiderman just shook his head.

Kwest: "He didn't want to just dump Speid on you, after you-know-who left you don't really do anything but sulk. Speid's good and D thinks you'll make him great."

Tom: "I haven't been sulking." He scoffed.

Speiderman: "Yes you have. All you do when come in is listen to her music. You haven't been producing or anything."

Tommy: "I'm fine, I don't need Jude to be normal. Maybe I'm 'sulking' for other reasons." Tom decided to take his anger out on Speid a little.

Speid: "Well, moping wont do anything." He whispered, but Tom heard.

Tom: "Well, excuse me for thinking of her! Not that you'd know anything about that. She's gone for two weeks and your already going solo! Some bestfriend!" He yelled.

Speid: "WHAT!?! Are you kidding me? I miss her more than you do! You left! For like two months and you didn't miss her then! No you come back with a fiance! And I'm going solo because Jude told me too. She told me in her letter!" Speid screamed.

Tom: "Stop throwing that in my face!"

Speid: "You deserve it!" He yelled back. Kwest interrupted before things got ugly.

Kwest: "That's enough. Tommy, calm down. Speid, get in the booth." Speiderman nodded his head and went into the booth with his guitar. Kwest turned to Tommy.

Kwest: "You need to calm down, it's not Speid's fault. You gotta let go of your anger man." Tommy just nodded, tired of talking about the cause of his heartache.

Kwest: "Alright Speid, we're ready when you are." Speid nodded and started strumming on his guitar.

_"The light that's in your eyes, like everyone wants it to be_

_Well can't you see that it must be this way_

_Who knows who's wrong or right, just as long as you're here tonight_

_Just like my mother, always taking my likings away_

_When nobody's watching us_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there too long_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there_

_I miss the love, I miss the holidays_

_I miss my best friend, cheap cigars, stupid kids and movie stars_

_And just like my father, always taking my likings away_

_When nobody's watching us_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there too long_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there too long_

_Why does it feel like this world is just not for us_

_Why does it feel like this world's all they've got for us_

_Why does it feel like nobody's watching us_

_I missed her sweet smell, I miss it everyday_

_I miss my best friend, cheap cigars, stupid kids and movie stars_

_And I missed the last song and I miss you_

_And this time this one's for us_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there too long_

_I missed the last song_

_I blame myself for just standing there too long_

_I missed the last song_

_I missed the last song_

_I missed the last song_

_I missed the last song"_

Kwest pressed the off button and motioned for Speiderman to come out of the booth.

Kwest: "That was amazing Speid." Tommy nodded, looking at the floor.

Kwest: "It really was. Good job Vin." Speiderman just nodded, not talking. Tommy looked like he was lost in thought.

Speiderman: "Thanks Kwest." He said quietly. Kwest waved a hand in Tom's face.

Kwest: "You there man?" He said, Tommy's head shot up, snapping back into reality. He looked up at Speid.

Tommy: "It was about her, right?" He asked knowing the answer.

Speiderman: "Yeah, I really miss her." Kwest smiled sadly.

Kwest: "Me too." They both looked at Tom.

Tommy: "I gotta go." He picked up his jacket and left.

**Meanwhile, back in New York Lucy, Ryan, Jonathan and Jude all just got off of work. **

**It was 10:00 and they decided to go to a coffee shop together. **

They sat in the back of the room, Ryan and Jude sat next to each other and across was Lucy and John.

Jonathan: "So.. How do you like working for us Pickle?" He smirked and Jude scoffed.

Jude: "I think you guys are slave workers." Ryan hit her arm playfully.

Jude: "Hey! I was kidding, and they say I'm violent." She shook her head.

Jonathan, Ryan & Lucy: "You are!" Jude laughed, and put her hands in the air, as to surrender.

Jude: "I'll try to stop that." They all laughed.

Lucy: "So Jude, what if someone see's you here." She whispered.

Jude: "I've thought about getting caught, so I've decided I'm going to change my look a little bit."

Ryan: "Your not gonna die your hair black and get a whole bunch of tattoo's and peircing's are you?" He joked, acting worried.

Jude: "No, but I am dying my hair." Ryan looked at her shocked.

Ryan: "Your going to die your hair black? Jude, I was just kidding. I didn't mean that-" Jude laughed.

Jude: "I'm not dying my hair black. I'm dying it red again." Ryan and Lucy shook their heads, relieved. Jude and John laughed.

Lucy & Ryan: "Thank god." John and Jude laughed again.

John: "So why red again? I mean people have seen you with red before." Lucy nodded.  
Jude: "People aren't expecting me to go back to red hair, not after I already died my hair from red to blonde. People wouldn't expect red hair."

Ryan: "I always liked your hair red, Harrison." He put his hand in her hair and messed it up. She laughed.

Jude: "Thanks, Rye." She tried to fix her hair with her hands. They all stood their for about 2 hours, just goofing off and joking around with each other.

Jonathan: "Guys, it's getting late, we should go." Ryan lived by himself, Jonathan lived with Petey.

Lucy: "Actually Jude, I'm going over Sarah's place. She's moving and I'm going to help her pack tomorrow morning, so I'm just gonna sleep there. That okay?" Jude nodded.

Jude: "Sure, I'll see you tomorrow at work." She smiled, and Lucy said goodbye to everyone and left.

Jonathan: "Ryan, you should walk Jude home, it's not safe for her to be walking around by herself, at this time in the night." Jude frowned.

Jude: "I can take care of myself. '_I'm violent_' remember?" Jonathan chuckled.

John: "Yeah, but still, it's for your safety. Beside's I'm sure Ryan doesn't mind walking you home." He winked at Ryan, who looked away blushing.

Jonathan: "Bye Guys." He gave Jude a hug and Ryan a pat on the back and left. Ryan and Jude linked arms and walked down the street.

Jude: "What's with him?" Ryan looked away, at everything but her.

Ryan: "Who knows? He's John." She chuckled. He then looked at her.

Jude: "Your the best, you know that Ryan." She smiled at him.

Ryan: "I know I am." He smirked. Jude smacked his arm playfully.

Jude: "Cocky much?" He shrugged and she laughed.

Jude: "Really, when I'm with you, I don't think about all the sad stuff. I'm just happy." She smiled brightly at him, and he smiled back.  
Ryan: "Glad to help." She kissed him on the cheek. They were almost at Jude's apartment.

Ryan: "You know Jude, when you used to visit over the summer, I always missed you so much when you left." She smiled and grabbed his hand.

Jude: "I missed you too Ryan." They reached her apartment. He stood in front of her and grabbed her other hand and held it in his own.

Ryan: "I _really_ missed you Jude." He looked into her eyes. And all she saw was love in them. He leaned in a little.  
Jude: "Well I'm here to stay." She said softly, leaning in a little more.

Ryan: "That's good." He said leaning in the rest of the way. Then it happened, he kissed her.

**Ah! I'm very evil, he he. Don't forget to reveiw!**


	12. I Saw Her Standing There

_A/N- Damn, everybody hates Ryan, lol. He actually is a really good guy.__ He's a sweetie pie. __So__ here's a banner, just take out the spaces. http // s217 . photobucket . com / albums / cc76 / iheartTQ /? action view ¤t; LIWTAbanner 3 . jpg_

**BTW **I just wanted to say to **Be sure to **_**READ**_** my **_**NEW**_** fanfic, its called **_**LOVE, MUSIC, AND BETRAYAL**_ Please Read it!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. I don't own 'Blind' by Lifehouse._

**Last Time:**

Ryan: "I _really_ missed you Jude." He looked into her eyes. And all she saw was love in them. He leaned in a little.  
Jude: "Well I'm here to stay." She said softly, leaning in a little more.  
Ryan: "That's good." He said leaning in the rest of the way. Then it happened, he kissed her.  
She stood there frozen, not moving, shocked that she was kissing Ryan. She was kissing back of course, but it was almost strange.

_Oh. My. God. I am kissing Ryan!!! Ryan, Lucy's little brother, well he's my age but still!! I mean come one, this is Ryan, he's seen me in my Tinkerbell pajama's for god sake! Jamie has seen worse and you dated him, so I don't see what the problem is. Because he's Ryan! He's Lucy's bro, one of my bff's, it's crazy! Oh, come on.. Tommy was your producer, and he was dating your sister and that didn't really stop you. Well you know what Brain, look how that turned out, and I'm still heartbroken over Tommy, I admitted in that letter that I loved him! And now Tommy's gone! Ryan's cute, nice and considerate, he would never break your heart, and you need to get over Tommy you big ditz! HEY DON'T CALL ME A DITZ! WELL YOU ARE ONE! Well I love Tommy! Tom's gone, move on! I don't know if I want too! Well Decide! SHUT UP BRAIN!! Dear god, I am talking to myself in my head, having a fight with my self. BECAUSE YOUR A LUNATIC! Oh shut up brain! Ugh, my brain is right, I'm never seeing Tom again, and he's with Jessica, and he has a kid anyways. Ryan's nice and I do sort of like him. I think I like him. But wait, he's like my best friend, I don't want to lose him! Ugh, love is messed up. _

They kissed softly and then they both pulled away. She tried to look at him, but couldn't.

Jude: "Rye, I, uh, umm.. I'm sorry.." She blushed. He put his hand under her chin so that she would look at him.  
Ryan: "Hey, Jude don't be sorry. I kissed you, because I really have deep feelings for you." Her eyes watered a little._ I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to hurt him.  
_Jude: "Ryan, I don't want to be hurt again. After everything with Tommy.. I just.. I don't know." He looked into her eyes.  
Ryan: "Jude, you have to believe me, I'm not Tommy, it's not the same. I never want to hurt you." Her eyes watered more, tears threatening to fall.  
Jude: "I don't think that everyone tried to hurt me.. Right now I'm a wreck. You don't want someone like me, I'm no good for you. I'll corrupt you." He shook his head no.  
Ryan: "Jude, don't say that. You are one of the best things in my life. I've always wanted you. I've always compared other girls to you, but there no match. You bring nothing but happiness to me. I want to heal your pain, and kiss your bruises away." Tears rolled down her cheeks and he wiped them away with his hands. _He's so sweet..  
_Ryan: "Jude, I can't promise that I'll never hurt you, & I hope that I never do, but I can promise that I will try not too, and that I will take care of you. I promise to hold you and wipe away your tears and listen to you, when you cry. I promise with everything in me that I do not ever want to hurt you." He said softly, holding her head in his hands, he smiled.  
Jude: "Rye, I don't want to hurt you.." _He's such a nice guy, and my friend, what if I mess him up?  
_Ryan: "Jude, I can make my own decisions, please give me a chance." She smiled softly at him.  
Jude: "But Ryan.." _Ugh, the boy is so difficult.  
_Ryan: "Jude, If it doesn't work out we will still be friends, okay, I mean-" She cut him off with her lips, kissing him softly again. When she pulled away she smiled.  
Jude: "Okay Ryan, Okay." He grinned like a little kid in a candy shop and picked her up and started spinning her around. She laughed, & he put her down, and kissed her.  
Ryan: "You won't regret this Jude, I promise."_ I hope so_. She smiled at him and invited him inside to watch movies.

**Back in Toronto, Tommy left G-Major and drove to the first person he thought of when he thought of who  
retained info on Jude. Jamie. He drove furiously like a lunatic. When he got to Jamie's house  
he sighed and went up to the door and knocked like a crazy man. **

A very, very surprised Jamie stood at the door. Tommy ignored his stupid expression and decided to get right to the point.  
Tommy: "I_ need _to talk to you." Jamie stared at him incredulously. Okay, seriously, Tommy hates Jamie's guts and Jamie's not to fond of him either, and here Tom is at his door?  
Jamie: "Well _obviously_ you didn't come here to borrow eggs." He spat, sarcastically. Tommy glared at him. Tom would've hit this kid if he didn't need him.  
Tommy: "Listen Jamie, it's important. Trust me, I'd rather be anywhere than here with _you_. But I need your help." Jamie sighed and let him in. Tommy looked around at his surroundings. The house was pretty small but cozy. There were lots of pics of Jamie and some of Jamie and Jude when they were kids. Tommy smiled dimly. Jamie led him over to the couch and they sat down. Tommy looked at Jamie, who's eyes were searching his face for an explanation. Tommy sighed.  
Tommy: "It's about Jude." He said with a look of determination. Jude? She was missing. Jamie didn't know where she was. Is that was Tommy wanted? If Jamie knew he would have said something. He didn't even get a letter, shows how much information he got.  
Jamie: "I don't know where she is, Quincy. I would've told Sadie if I did." He said, his voice clearly angry. Jude and him weren't that close anymore but still. They were best friends for like 15 years and he didn't get a letter. It hurt him a lot. He and her weren't best friends anymore but they went through a lot. A letter would have been nice.  
Tom: "Obviously. I would've talked to Speid but you've known Jude longer. Listen, if anyone knows where she'd be it would be you." Jamie sighed in frustration.  
Jamie: "I already said I don't know where she is!" Tommy rolled his eyes.  
Tommy: "Of course you don't geek boy. Just think about it. If she could go anywhere, where do you think she would go? You've been her best friend for 15 years. You know more about her than almost anyone." Jamie rolled his eyes. Speid was her best friend, he knew a lot about her. Sadie was her sister, why didn't Tom go to her?  
Jamie: "I don't know Tommy. Jude always had an interest in the States. That's probably where she is." Tom rolled his eyes in frustration.  
Tom: "It's a bit obvious she's in the States. She doesn't speak other languages and she wouldn't stay in Canada because she doesn't want to be found. Where exactly in the States do you think she could of gone?" He asked impatiently. Jamie just shook his head. He actually felt bad for Quincy. Tom Quincy, the guy he couldn't stand, and would care less if he got ran over as soon as he left this house, he felt bad for him. He was so broken up about Jude and guilty, and Jamie could tell. Jamie sighed.  
Jamie: "Look I want to help you, but I don't know. We've lost touch. And wherever Jude is, it's somewhere completely unexpected. If she never wants to come back, and never wants to be found, she picked somewhere where no one would look. I miss Jude, but she's gone. The Jude I knew didn't run, the Jude I knew held her head high and wouldn't let anyone intimidate her. But that Jude has been gone way before she went missing. That's why I don't know where she is. We haven't been best friends for a long time. Your guess is as good as mine. What I do know about Jude is that when she makes a decision it's final. You know and everyone knows she's stubborn. She doesn't want us to look for her and she is gone. It's almost as if she died but a little less painful. I'm obviously not your biggest fan Tom, but my advice is to let go. She's gone. Jude is gone and it's over. She's _NOT _coming back. You need to admit it to yourself Tom." He said the last part sternly, trying to get his point across. Tom gaped at him. WTF? _Jamie_ was telling HIM this? Dear God.  
Tom: "But Jam-" Jamie shook his head.  
Jamie: "She's gone, Move on. Admit it.." Tom winced, the words hitting him like a blow to the stomach. It can't be over. Not like this. He didn't want to admit it but he knew from her letter that she wanted him too. And even though Tom would never admit it out loud, Jamie was right. Tom also realized that Jamie isn't that bad. Maybe they could be friends now, Jude wasn't around to get in between. The thought of Jude made Tom upset all over again. Tommy stood up abruptly from the couch.  
Tommy: "Thanks for your help." He mumbled, and left and slammed the door on his way out. Jamie went to the window and watched him speed away, and shook his head.  
Jamie: "Jude, I hope you know what your doing. You really messed up this time."

**3 months later: Jude and Ryan are walking the streets of Manhattan together, just enjoying eachothers presence.  
Their relationship is perfect and Jude is really falling hard for this guy. It was really late at night and  
surprisingly their were no people or cars it was just them. **

Ryan: "So.. I have plans for us tomorrow night.." He squeezed her hand. She looked up at him and smiled.  
Jude: "What are we doing? Don't tell me you are dragging me to watch some boring old film convention." She said in playful voice. He looked at her feigning hurt.  
Ryan: "Boring old film convention? You are so gonna pay for that." She rolled her eyes playfully.  
Jude: "Oh yeah, I'm so scared of you.. What are you gonna do? Bore me with quotes?" She said breaking away from him and then crossed her arms. He smiled evilly.  
Ryan: "Bore you with quotes?" She nodded. "Oh yeah?" She nodded again and smiled. He stepped closer to her. She stepped back.  
Jude: "What are you doing?" He smiled mischievously and walked closer. She started to walk away and saw him chasing her. She ran into the street then onto the sidewalk again and he kept running after her laughing. She started running faster but he was too fast for her. Then after a while he caught up to her and tackled her down to the floor laughing. She was laying under him and he held himself up with his hands. They then noticed it started raining lightly. He smiled and then started tickling her.  
Jude: "Ryan! Stopp... Rye!" He continued to tickle her.  
Ryan: "Are film conventions boring?" He smiled and stopped for a minute.  
Jude: "Yes... I can't help it if they are.." He started to tickle her again and stopped when she started to laugh so hard she was crying. When he stopped he looked at her and became serious. She noticed his serious expression and looked into his eyes. Then the rain intensified so much it was basically pouring. He leaned and kissed her with all the love he had. As they kissed she realized she really had fallen for him.  
Ryan: "Jude. I need to tell you something.. Important." He said while looking into her eyes.  
Jude: "What is it babe?" She said softly. He pulled himself up from the floor and then grabbed her hands and pulled her up with him.  
Jude: "It's raining. We should get home." She started to walk away but he grabbed her by her arms and gently pulled her back to him.  
Jude: "Ryan, we're gonna get sick.." She said concerned by his behavior. He shook his head. And put his hand under her chin so she would look into his eyes.  
Ryan: "Jude, your the best person I know. You are crazy and fun and beautiful.. I cant help but fall for you. Even when I tried not too. I tried to stop these feelings but then I realized that I didn't want too. Without you, nothings the same. Without you I'm never really happy. What I'm trying to stay is that your perfect to me. And I don't care if I catch pneumonia right now, because I.. I love you Jude." Her eyes widened in shock. He.. What? She looked in his eyes and saw he was sincere. Then she placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and leaned up and kissed him with everything in her. Her hands went to his hair while his were around her waist. When she pulled away she smiled. She wasn't thinking about Tom anymore. She had fell for Ryan. REALLY fell for him.  
Jude: "I love you too, Ryan. I honestly, truly do." He grinned and picked her up and spun her around and kissed her again. She really did love Ryan. She was in love with him and their was no doubt about it. She knew it was the truth and though confused about if she still had feelings for Tommy she was in love with the man in front of her.

**It was a unique day for Tommy today. He woke up and something just clicked inside his head. ****He had a dream about Jude and realized he needed to admit his feelings. He had been moping around G-Major and everyone was sick of his crappy mood. He walked into G-Major prepared to do something that he hasn't done in a while. He went into D's office for a while and came out with victory.**

He saw Kwest and Speiderman on the couches in the lobby chatting away. He walked up to them bravely. Kwest noticed him right away.  
Kwest: "Hey man. I don't think any one's due to record today.. Why are you here?" Tom glanced at Speiderman then Kwest again.  
Tom: "I want.. I want to record something.." Both Speid and Kwest stared at each other in shock then back at Tommy. Karma then walked by and stopped.  
Karma: "Pick up your jaws." She laughed and continued walking. Kwest and Spied snapped back into reality.  
Kwest: "You what? You haven't recorded in years. Why the change?" Speiderman nodded.  
Tommy: "It's something I've been avoiding and it's now or never.. I need to do this. I've spoken to Darius and it's fine. I just need a producer.." Kwest nodded.  
Kwest: "Of course I'll do it T. Let's go make history." He smiled, and Tom and him did some complicated handshake. Speid followed them into the studio.  
Kwest: "Got anything in mind?" Tom nodded and handed him lyrics.  
Kwest: "Okay, get in the booth. The Mic's set up because I thought Patsy might come in." Tom nodded and went in the booth.  
Kwest: "Okay, 'Blind' take one." 

Tommy grabbed the headphones and began to sing like his life depended on it. Closing his eyes he thought of Jude, and any chance of love that he ever had.

**I was young but I wasn't naive  
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave  
And still I have the pain I have to carry  
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried**

**After all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
Never thought we'd be here  
When my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it**

Trying to keep himself together was very hard at this point. He wanted Jude so bad and knew she would never be around him ever again, much less with him. He started to sing his voice a little more rough, almost screaming.

**That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go **

Tom would do anything just to see Jude smile. To be with her just one more time. He could have had her so many times but he pushed her away. He made so many excuses when the reality was he was scared. That's why he put on that bad boy front for all those years. To hide the fact that he scared and felt vulnerable and wasn't perfect. When he met Jude, his whole outlook on life changed. All the material things didn't seem to matter anymore. A thousand brand new vipers would have no value to him. Not if he could have her. But he pushed her away. And even if he gained up the courage to be with her, he couldn't because she was now gone.

**I would fall asleep  
Only in hopes of dreaming  
That everything would be like it was before  
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting  
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor **

Every time he fell asleep he dreamed of her. His dreams were the only peice of her that he had. But just like she told him, he would wake to the harsh reality. And when Tommy realized that he had fell in love for the first time in his life, he realized he had truly lost something for the first time in his life.

**After all this time  
I never thought we'd be here  
Never thought we'd be here  
When my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it **

He screamed the last lines, putting everything he had into the words. He then started to cry, Kwest and Spied had called in Sadie and Darius before. They all watched helpless, and even Darius felt horrible. Tom tried to calm down a little. He sung the last lines with such passion, anger and hurt that the people outside the booth could feel it too.

**That I loved you more than you'll ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go **

He admitted it. He loved her. He loved Jude Harrison. But she was no longer around and when she left she brought a part of him with her. What he would give to have another late night in the studio. For her to come in with a new song, always perfection. He missed how he would glance at the sloppy lyrics and think about how much she really felt and how much she's really gone through, her way with words was amazing. He could lie to himself and say he was over her but he would just be lying to himself. He would never forget Jude. She was his inspiration, his rock, his everything. Sadie started to cry as well and she held on to Kwest. Tom then seemed to muster up words but in a very low tone, almost whispering.

**After all this why  
Would you ever wanna leave it  
Maybe you could not believe it  
That my love for you was blind  
But I couldn't make you see it  
Couldn't make you see it **

If only Jude only saw what Tommy felt. But it was so wrong. The stupid rules and stupid Jessica. He didn't deserve anyone like Jude, but yet somehow she fell for a guy like him. He then screamed the uncoming words. Trying to let everything out.

**That I loved you more than you will ever know  
A part of me died when I let you go **

The music came to a stop and Tom took of the headphones and fell to the floor. This was it. He was breaking down. He held his hand in his hands and started to sob. Someone then came into the booth but Tommy didn't look up to see who it was. The mystery person grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up and then into a hug. And that mystery person was Spiederman. And without words Tom knew that he was some what forgiven. **-Read my new Fanfiction "LOVE, MUSIC, & BETRAYAL"  
Thanks for reading and please Review!**


	13. All Things Must Pass

_A/N- So I am aware that people are probably annoyed with my lack of post. The only thing I can say is, all apologies. School is back and there's not a lot of free time to write. I don't even have time for my music anymore. I'm trying very hard trust me. That's why I'm trying to force this post in.. Even though I'm not in the best mood to write stuff right now. And keep in mind people: This is a JOMMY! I understand people get frustrated from the lack of jommy-ness but I __**can't**__ just put them together, then there would be no story line! I mean what kind of fanfic would it be if I was like: Tommy finds Jude, Jessica and Ryan vanish, and Jude and Tommy live happily ever after? Come onnn, people!_

**READ AND REVIEW MY OTHER FAN FICTION: "LOVE, MUSIC, AND BETRAYAL"**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. I also do not own the song 'Sober' by Kelly Clarkson. In the lyrics I changed it from 3 months to eight._

**7 am in New York, Jude wakes up from her peaceful sleep. She notices that she fell asleep on the couch watching movies with Ryan.**

She smiles at his sleeping face and kisses him on the forehead and gets up to turn the t.v off and leaves to take a shower, when she's done she slips on some grey sweatpants, a white wife beater and a grey form fitting sweater over it. She didn't have to go to work today. Jude looked out her window and sighed, it was raining again. She stood there for a while just watching the rain. She smiled sadly. Jude had been in New York for 8 months now. It seemed like so long ago she left Toronto and her old world. It was so surreal. She almost couldn't believe that she was here. The first few months were rough. She was happy around Ryan, Lucy, Jon, and Petey, but when she was alone she was like a vegetable. She would sit in the spot she was in right now, by the window, watching the rain. Reminding her self how much she could relate. It all made sense to her, the world was crying and so was she. It was like she could never be truly happy again, then she woke up one day and everything changed. She couldn't help but remember that day. She woke up and looked in the mirror and saw how disastrous she looked. Mascara, eyeliner, and smudged lipgloss all over her face, she sat at her mirror, grabbed some Kleenex and wiped away the junk from her face. She stared at her bare face and pulled her hair out of its messy bun, and let it fall around her face, and took a good look at herself. She remembered thinking '_Look at yourself, your a mess. It's time to clean up your act and move on. When you left Toronto, you left everything behind. New York is your home now. You have people that really love you, that give you everything that they could, and all you offer is fake smiles and insincerity? Jamie's right. It's time to grow up. Your life is all better now. You are NOT a victim_.' She smiled. She wasn't a victim, she was happy. Her life was good. She remembered dying her hair with tears strolling down her face, not of sadness but because she knew she could be happy again. She had Lucy, her bestfriend who was like a sister, Jon and Petey, they were like her brothers. Of course she had Ryan, her boyfriend, the one who she loved, and he loved her. They weren't complicated. Life is tough and sometimes pushes you off your bike, but Ryan took her hand and bandaged up her pain. She could be happy living like this for the rest of her life. Yes, being a waitress wasn't glamorous, but it was normal, and that's what she wanted. She had everything she needed, Lucy was her Sadie, Jon and Petey were her SME, and Ryan.. He was better than anything she ever had with Tom. She never had anything with Tom truthfully. That day she woke up vowing to allow herself to be happy, she realized she was over Tom. Jude stared at her guitar in the corner of the room, gathering dust. She's barely touched it since she's been in New York. She couldn't bring herself to play, thinking memories would come rushing back and she would feel guilty for wishing she could have even an ounce of her old life. She wanted to face her fears and now she would, it wouldn't hurt to do something she loved. She ran her fingers through her red hair, smiling at the control she had. She sighed and crossed the room and picked up the guitar. She ran her ringers over the cords loving the feeling. Remembering every inch of it and how everything worked. She got up and walked over to the bed and sat down with the guitar. Jude started to strum a melody, and started to sing.

"**And I don't know  
This could break my heart or save me  
Nothings real  
Until you let go completely  
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving  
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me**

Her life in New York wouldn't be real if she never let go of Toronto. But when she thought about it all she was so happy to sing this song, just to let her fears out a little bit.

**Eight months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers  
But I know it's never really over  
**

_Oh_ but it _was_..

**  
And I don't know  
I could crash and burn but maybe  
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me  
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right  
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time**

Eight months and I'm still breathing  
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know 

_Those_ hands she left her tears in..

**  
It's never really over, no  
**

When she ran away eight months ago, she never thought she'd get here. But she was okay, she's still _breathing_..

**  
Wake up**

Eight months and I'm still standing here  
Eight months and I'm getting better yeah  
Eight months and I still am

She was _stronger_..

**  
Eight months and it's still harder now  
Eight months I've been living here without you now  
Eight months yeah, eight months**

She began to strum harder. Eight months and she was living without _him_. She screamed the lyrics coming.****

Eight months and I'm still breathing  
Eight months and I still remember it  
Eight months and I wake up

She could still remember all the pain she felt, but she almost no longer felt it. The pain that had once been unbearable was now almost invisible. Tears streaming down her face, she whispered the last of the lyrics.****

Eight months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers  


She strummed the final cords and ended the song. She smiled sadly to herself and put her guitar down and stood up, wiped her tears and straightened up her clothes. She turned around and saw Ryan leaning in the door way staring at her. His face with confusion and sympathy at the same time. He walked up to her and held his arms out and she held on to him and_ cried_.

**Back in Toronto Tommy is sitting at home listening to Jessica nag. **

Jessica: "We have to plan this wedding Tom!" She screamed, as he rolled his eyes and took a chug of his beer. They were fighting like usual.

Tommy: "Actually, you have to plan this wedding. I have better things to do then look at centerpieces and napkin colors. " He said. "Besides it's your fault I'm in this mess." He mumbled.

Jessica: "What was that Tom?" She asked as he sighed and took another chug at his beer.

Tom: "Nothing.. Why do we have to plan this now? Can't we be one of those people who have long engagements? " He asked her. Marrying Jess was the last thing he wanted to do right now, or ever actually. Jessica sighed in frustration.

Jessica: "Because we've already had a long engagement. We've been engaged for 7 months! I'm your fiancé Tom! And you and I have a child! I don't want to be engaged for a year or two!" She screamed, once again throwing a fit when she doesn't get what she wants.

Tommy: "Well I want a long engagement! Not everything's about you!" He yelled back while she scoffed.

Jessica: "Do not make me call my father Tom. " She said as he turned away, and she smirked, knowing that she had won. He grabbed his car keys and jacket.

Tom: "Fine Jessica, plan the damn wedding of the century. I don't care. Just get it over with." He said while walking towards the door. Jessica huffed and speed walked next to him.

Jessica: "And where the heck do you think your going?!" She yelled.

Tom: "Out." He shrugged and went into his car while she chased him.

Jessica: "Oh no your not! Thomas come back here! Tom!" but he was already backing out of the drive way. Tom called Kwest and they met up at a local bar. Tommy kept drinking and drinking, Kwest watched him for a while but then decided to say something.

Kwest: "I'm guessing from the way you downed those last 10 shots that you and Jessica got into another fight?" Tom just nodded taking a sip of the drink he just got.

Kwest: "Well, since this is like the seven hundredth fight you've gotten into, and made me come basically babysit you at this bar. Why don't you tell me about it?"

Tommy: "It's this wedding, she wants to have it soon and she wants me to help." He cringed thinking about seating charts and reception spots.

Kwest: "So? Shouldn't you want to marry her sooner? That's usually how soon to be husbands feel." He smirked.

Tommy: "Ya knoh whud Kweft, I dun wanna talk bout dis anymore." He slurred while Kwest rolled his eyes.

Kwest: "I think you've had enough T." He said while trying to take away Tom's drink, but Tom wouldn't allow it.

Tom: "I- Imma big boy Kwest, I- I can drink wud I wanna, as much as I wanna." He sipped his drink. Kwest rolled his eyes again, about to tell the bartender not to let him have anymore when an idea popped into his head. He smirked.

Kwest: "Okay Tom, your right, you can have as much drinks as you want." He said, while the bartender gave him an 'are you crazy?' look, but Kwest ignored him.

Tommy: "I knoh dat Kweft. " He smiled a drunk smile and kept drinking and talking.

Kwest: "So what about Jessica?" He said.

Tom: "She is inshanee!'' He slurred.

Kwest: "Really?" Kwest asked.

Tom: "She is sooo annoyin Kweft, ya dun even knoh. She wont geft of my back!" He yelled, and almost fell off the chair. Kwest sighed and got up and put Tommy's arm around his shoulder and carried him out into the car. Tom was way to drunk to stop him. Kwest put him in the front seat.

Tom: "It's her dad Kweft. I gotta do wud he wants, I dun gotta choif [choice." He slurred. Kwest was confused.

Kwest: "What do you mean Tom? What about her dad? Why do you have to do what he wants?" He asked, but it was too late, Tom was already sound asleep. Kwest sighed and shook his head and concentrated on getting Tom back to his place. But this conversation was NOT over.

**The Next Day a sleepy Tom walks into the studio to see Kwest, Jamie and Spiederman talking, this was the usual. Tom would come in, **

**record something and the guys would hang out. Spiederman hung around Kwest because without Jude he had no one to hang with**

**and he didn't always want to hang out with Kyle and Wally. Jamie and Tom have become good friends now.**

Tommy: "Hey guys." He said. Spiederman, Jamie and Kwest looked up from their laughing to see a still hung over Tom.

Spiederman & Jamie: "HEY QUINCY!" They yelled as he covered his ears and cringed. Kwest laughed.

Tom: "Out. Now." He said seriously. Spied rolled his eyes.

Speid: "Whatever, I got to meet up with Patsy and the guys anyways. Come on Jamie." Jamie nodded and said some sort of goodbye, and they left the studio. Kwest waited till they left the studio.

Kwest: "Lucy, you've got some explainin' to doo." He said. Tommy rolled his eyes, not remembering last night.

Tom: "I'm too tired to even think about whatever your talking about." He replied, and laid back in his chair, putting his journal on top of his face to cover his eyes.

Kwest: "Actually, you can cut the B.S. Tommy, I know about you Jessica. Actually I'd like to know because I'm confused. ACTUALLY, I'd think I'd rather hear about her FATHER." He said as he rolled his eyes and Tommy gulped._ Damn_! Tom thought.

Tom: "W.. Wh.. What?" He asked, afraid of what Kwest knew, he didn't want people to know, no one could help.

Kwest: "I know that you have to do whatever Jessica's dad wants, and you don't have a choice. And I know you aren't in love with Jessica, and it all mixes together some how." He said. Tom suddenly was very pissed. Kwest needed to get a life.

Tom: "How _dare_ you question my love for Jess!" He screamed. As Kwest smirked, which made Tommy more mad.

Tommy: "What the hell are you smiling for!?" He screamed his question. Kwest remained smirking.

Kwest: "You didn't say you loved Jessica." He smiled. Tom's face fell.

Tom: "Well.. Of course I do, I mean, we're engaged.." He said nervously. Kwest shook his head.

Kwest: "Quincy, I've been your best friend for years, I know that your lying. I see the way you look at Jessica, you don't even look at her like you look at a girl that you _like_." He replied.

Tommy: "Because I love her." He reasoned. Kwest rolled his eyes.

Kwest: "Wake up Tom! You don't love her, you can barely stand her, and I, and everyone else can see it. I've seen the way you used to look at Jude.." He said her name softly, as if it was Harry Potter and they were talking about the one who shall not be named. Tom's face went from a pinkish color to red.

Tom: "Don't you dare bring_ her _up!" He growled. Kwest just stared at him, angry at Tom. Speiderman stood in the door way, hearing Kwest's sentence about Jude, and what Tom just said. He walked in and Kwest and Tommy looked at him bewildered, having no clue how much he heard. Speiderman walked in, heaving, his chest puffed out and his face all red.

Spiederman: "Who? _Jude_? The one who left? So we're not gonna even say her name anymore?! News Flash, SHE LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU AND JESSICA! She was my best friend, and for some unknown reason she was in love with _you_! So you leave, and I watched her break right in front of me, and the nights that she stayed with me, I heard her crying herself to sleep in the next room, because you didn't care about her not even a little bit, not enough to stay, or to call, or to tell her where you are! And then you came back, and she thought, maybe if he came back he care's a little, but then she found out about Jessica. How'd you think she felt then? She _knew_ you didn't give a crap about her! If there was no Jessica, Jude would be here! And you don't even like Jessica. You certainly don't love her, I know it Tom!" He yelled. Tommy just stared at him.

Spied: "Why'd you have to do that Tommy? Why!? So you and Jessica got a kid, Jude wouldn't have cared! Why'd you'd have to break her like that! Why'd you have to make her go away?!" He asked, he could feel his eyes watering but he wouldn't cry in front of Tom and Kwest.

Tom: "I.. I'm sorry.." He said with guilt.

Spied: "She was my best friend! You had to drive her away, when you knew! _You_ knew! _Why_, Why would you do that?" He pleaded, screaming, as he could barely contain his tears. Kwest shook his head and patted Spied's back.

Tommy: "I have no other choice, Spied." He said sadly. Spied looked up at him.

Spied: "Why? What do you mean? Tell me please, so I can understand." He pleaded again. But Tom shook his head.

Tom: "It's complicated." He reasoned. Spiederman gave him a cold look.

Spiederman: "It always is." He grabbed his notebook, which was why he came back in the first place, and left the studio. Kwest gave Tom a look and went with him.


	14. Do You Want to Know a Secret?

_A/N- So I was thinking about the story.. And even I want some Jommy action! lol. So don't worry people, I haven't forgotten whats important. ;D And Maybe you dont beleive me but I am REALLY sorry this post took so long. I just couldnt find the inspiration, and I also wanted to make sure that I had the perfect song. Just wanted to do the chapter justice. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. Lyrics are : Three cheers for five years by Mayday Parade ( I tweaked the lyrics a bit and changed the name)_

**In New York. Ryan is about to do something he is very unsure of. He thinks its for the best, but will Jude hate him? Ryan's Pov.**

No, people have to know this. He thought while sitting in front of his computer screen. Jude had a little bit of recording equipment in her room, and had recorded a song and edited it on her computer. Ryan created an anonymous email account and was about to send Jude's song to Toronto. He knew she would be pissed at first, but maybe she would be a little grateful. Jude's family and friends in Toronto could think she's dead. This was a little bit of hope for them. This was whats right. No matter what Jude says, music is her life. She lives and breathes it. And her music deserved to be out there. He knew what he had to do. He clicked the send button and hoped for the best.

**Back in Toronto Kwest ran into G-Major.**

Kwest ran in the door out of breath and ran up to Sadie at her desk.  
Kwest: "Sadie, where's Darius?" He said, still out of breath. She gave him a look.

Sadie: "Hello to you too boyfriend." She said. Kwest looked at her.

Kwest: "Yeah, hi. Sorry." He said. She huffed.  
Kwest: "Sadie, this is very important. I need to speak to Darius right now." She rolled her eyes.

Sadie: "About what?" She asked. He wasn't sure if he should tell her right now. He knew he had to, so it was now or never. He sighed.

Kwest: ".. It's about.." He couldn't finish.

Sadie: "Kwest, come on. Tell me." He shook his head a little, not wanting her to freak out inside G-Major.

Sadie: "Kwest, if you don't tell me right now..." She warned. He sighed.

Kwest: "Its about Jude." Sadie's eyes bulged out.

Sadie: "WHAT ABOUT HER? OH MY GOSH! HAVE THEY FOUND HER? WHAT IS IT! OH MY GOSH! Wait a minute, is it _bad_?" She asked, worried.

Kwest: "She's on the radio Sadie! She must be okay! They're gonna premiere a new song from her at 5:00 today on all the radio stations." He said, getting excited himself.

Sadie: "Yay!" She squealed and jumped into his arms as he spun her around. Darius and Tommy came out of his office.

Darius: "What is it _now_?" He asked, clearly annoyed. Kwest rolled his eyes but was still happy.

Sadie: "Oh Darius! Haven't you heard? It's wonderful! It's -" She was about to say until she saw Tommy. Tom looked at her.

Tommy: "What is it Sadie?" He asked, completely oblivious.

Sadie: "Um.. Well.." She started nervously. Sadie stared at Kwest, silently telling him to help her out.  
Kwest: "Uh.." He scratched his head as Darius and Tommy rolled their eyes.  
Tom: "Come on Kwest.. Out with it.." He said, tired of being out of the blue. Kwest just stared at him, not saying anything. Darius huffed.

Darius: "In my office. Now." He said seriously. They all nodded and went inside. Only Tommy and Darius sat down. Kwest and Sadie were to anxious to sit.

Darius: "Whats up now? How come _every time_ I come out of my office I see Sadie screaming?" He said as Tom chuckled, and Sadie rolled her eyes.

Kwest: "It's not Sadie D. Its really important." He said while smiling.

Darius: "You two tyin' the knot?" He said with a grin. Sadie shook her head but smiled.

Kwest: "No D." He said. Tommy rolled his eyes.

Darius: "THEN WHAT IS IT YOU BIG GOON?!" He yelled. Sadie couldn't control herself anymore.

Sadie: "It's Jude!" She squealed. Darius stood up out of his chair with a grin and ran to hug Sadie and even Kwest. Tom however sat in his chair emotionless.

**Back in New York. Jude was writing down a customer's order while she heard something interesting on the radio.**

Jude: "Sorry sir we don't serve cow head here." She grimaced. The radio was heard in the background.

Radio broadcaster: "Wow, today's been crazy Joe. Thousands of eager fans calling in about the disappearing singer's new single." Jude stopped for a minute, interested.

Customer: "Fine, get me spaghetti then." He huffed as Jude nodded and went closer to the radio.

Radio broadcaster Joe: "Well I'm just as surprised as them. Long lost singer Jude Harrison sending out a new single that's premiering at 5:00 pm. And let me tell you Mike, even_ I _don't know where it came from. I mean it was from some anonymous email account that got deleted. But I can't wait to hear it. Maybe this means the rock star's

coming back? Only time will tell. In other news, theirs traffic on.." Jude stopped listening. What?! A single? From where?

Everything she recorded back in Toronto was already out. The only new songs she had were the little experiments she had on her computer. But how would that get to the radio stations? It was from an anonymous email? How did this happen?! Jude ran out of the restaurant. Ryan was at the counter and noticed this and ran out to calm her down. He saw her hypervenalating on the steps of the restaurant. He ran up to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She looked up into his eyes.

Jude: "Ryan what in the hell is going on?!" She whispered harshly. He looked away.

Ryan: "Seems as if your new single is out?" He said while scratching his head. She rolled her eyes.

Jude: "My only new songs are on my computer. How'd they get out?" She asked as he took a deep breath.

Ryan: "Jude. Please don't kill me. I sent one of your songs to all of the radio stations." Her mouth dropped.

Ryan: "I had to! People needed to know that your alive and kicking somewhere. I'm sorry." He said nervously.

Jude: "Sorry? Sorry! Your sorry?!" She said as she started smacking him. She stopped and huffed.

Jude: "What the heck is wrong with you?! Do you know what you've done? I don't want to be found Ryan! Your an idiot!" She screamed as she pushed him.

Jude: "A really, really, really stupid idiot!" She said as she pushed him some more. Ryan rolled his eyes and grabbed her hands. She glared up at him.

Ryan: "Jude. Cool it. Don't you care about them? About your family? Your friends? Your record label?" He asked. Jude sighed angrily.

Jude: "Of course I do. Well, not that much the last one." She muttered.

Ryan: "Really? Do you? Then it shouldn't be that big of a deal." He said while crossing his arms.

Jude: "Of course it is! What the hell is wrong with you! I never asked you to do that! I don't want _anyone_ to find me!" She screamed out in frustration.

Ryan: "You say you care. I mean, you cry at night, You write these heart jerking songs --don't think I haven't seen them-- you act like a zombie if anyone or anything from Toronto is mentioned, and you'll scream and fight about it with me; but yet.. You make this such a big deal! I mean come on Jude! Don't you care about Sadie! About your dad! Or your old producers!" He screamed. When he said 'producer' she froze. She put her hand up for a cab.

Jude: "Stop pretending you know everything Ryan." She said with her jaw clenched. She twisted off the silver Tiffany's promise ring he gave her.

Jude: "You don't know shit!" She screamed and threw the ring at him. He was about to say something but she got into a cab and drove away.

**Back in Toronto.. Tommy, Sadie, Kwest, SME, Jamie, Patsy, Darius and the rest of G- Major are all waiting in the **

**lobby by the radio, waiting to hear Jude's new single.**

Sadie: "Oh my gosh it's really happening! We are gonna find her, I just know it!" She squealed, unable to contain her excitement. Jamie grunted.

Jamie: "Unless there's a clue in the song... I'm not sure if we'll be able to find her. All the song tells us is that she's alive. So what we really need-" He got cut off from Patsy squeezing his ear.

Patsy: "Cram it Jamers." She hissed. Jamie opened his mouth to say something but then saw the look on Patsy's face and closed it. Darius turned the radio up.

Radio broadcaster Mark: "In latest news, long lost singer Jude Harrison will be sending out a single premiering at 5:00 today. It's 4:51 and we are excited." He laughed.

Spied: "I know this is a good thing but I'm nervous. With everything that she's gone through, and whatever she's doing now, its gotta be deep dude." He whispered to Kwest.

Kwest: "I know, but you gotta relax man. I'm actually concerned about Tommy. He hasn't said a word. Knowing Jude this songs about him. You know how he's been since she left; I don't want him to have like a nervous breakdown or something.." He whispered to Spiederman. Spied rolled his eyes. He shoved Tom's shoulder. Tom looked at him bewildered.

Tom: "What the heck Vin?!" He whispered harshly, trying not to draw attention to himself.

Spiederman: "You okay with this?" He whispered back, with genuine concern in his eyes. Tommy sighed and looked away.

Tommy: "I'm actually scared. But happy, but seriously scared.." He sighed and Spied patted him on the back.

Radio broadcaster Dan: "Alright folks. It's the time you've all been waiting for. Jude Harrison's new single 'Our Distance' here we go!" He laughed and started the record as Tommy held his breath and the room became silent.

"**I swear that you don't have to go  
I thought we could wait for the fireworks  
I thought we could wait for the snow  
To wash over Toronto and kill the hurt  
I thought I could live in your arms  
And spend every moment I had with you  
Stay up all night with the stars  
Confess all the faith that I had in you **

To late, I'm sure and lonely  
Another night, another dream wasted on you  
Just be here now against me  
You know the words so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry  
But I cant stop crying  
This anniversary may never be the same  
Inside I hope you know I'm dying  
With my heart beside me  
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced  
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought all these months of apart  
Together would find us an opening  
And moonlight would provide the spark  
And that I would stumble across the key  
Or break down the door to your heart  
Forever could see us not you and me  
And you'd help me out of the dark  
And I'd give my heart as an offering 

**To late, I'm sure and lonely  
Another night, another dream wasted on you  
Just be here now against me  
You know the words so sing along for me baby**

**  
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry  
But I cant stop crying  
This anniversary may never be the same  
Inside I hope you know I'm dying  
With my heart beside me  
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced  
And if I died right now you'd never be the same **

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me  
And I will always remember now  
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side  
How does she feel, how does she kiss  
How does she taste while she's on your lips  
I can't forget you  
I know you want me to want you  
I want to  
But I can't forgive you  
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby  
I can't forgive you  
I know you want me to want you I want to" 

The track ended and even Darius was speechless. They all stood in silence except for the few interns whispering to each other. After a minute Patsy decided to talk.  
Patsy: "Blondie's still got it." She smiled. She looked over to see Darius smiling.  
Darius: "It's gonna be a hit." He smiled. Spied grunted and they all laughed a little. Well, everyone except Tommy. They all started clearing out. Spied went to talk with Sadie and Kwest stayed behind with Tommy.  
Kwest: "It was deep man." He sighed. Tommy looked up from the floor at Kwest, but then looked away again.  
Tom: "But what does it mean?" He whispered more to himself than to Kwest.

**Back in New York.**

Jude: "He wont understand. It's okay." She whispered to herself, as the held her legs in her arms and snuggled into her couch. A tear ran down her cheek and she didn't wipe it away.

**A/N- Alrighty, there's the chapter! You will find out about the song soon enough! REVEIW LOVE, MUSIC AND BETRAYAL**


	15. In Spite Of All The Danger

**A/N- So I know people are way confused because Tommy didn't get the song. But he isn't really supposed to get it right now lol. My broadcast says Jommy action soon! )**

Disclaimer: Don't own/ don't sue.

**In New York Jude is sitting in her apartment trying to find something reasonable to watch. She has stayed in her apartment for 3 days.**

She didn't know what she was more scared of. Scared of seeing Ryan after there fight, (She wouldn't let him in her apartment, and wasn't accepting his calls). Or the fact that since her single is out people may be on the lookout for her. Either way, both weren't too tempting, but either was staying in all day watching lousy daytime television. She heard a knock on the door and sighed. She tried to ignore it but the knocking grew louder.

Ryan: "Jude! Jude it's me! It's me Ryan! Open up!" She turned up the volume on her TV. He sighed on the other end and sat with his back to the door. After a minute she didn't hear the banging so she went up to her door and sat with her back beside it.

Ryan: "Jude. I'm sorry." He sighed. Silence.

Ryan: " I know I shouldn't have done it, but I don't regret it happening, because it needed to happen. People _needed_ to know." He said truthfully. She sighed.

Ryan: "I regret the way I did it though. It wasn't right. Please don't be mad Jude. I haven't seen you or spoken to you in _three_ days. Lucy's out of town and no one has seen you… I'm worried." Still silence.

Ryan: "Hey Jude, don't make it bad." He crooned. She smiled a little. She hated it, but it was so cute with Ryan's voice. She got up, unlocked the door and opened it. He stood there before her and cocked his head to the side and offered a small smile. She wrapped her arms around him. She then inhaled his signature scent.

Ryan: "Jude. I really am sorry. I know I suck." She smiled against him.

Jude: "Hey don't talk about my boyfriend that way." She said softly as he grinned, happy that they were okay again.

Jude: "I've missed you." She whispered. He moved back to look at her.

Ryan: "I've missed you too, and it's only been three days." He chuckled.

Ryan: "Guess I've gotten used to having you around Harrison." He smirked.

Jude: "Well I've grown quite fond of you too Mr. Thomas."

Ryan: "Oh really now?" She nodded and smiled. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the couch while they both laughed. He started tickling her uncontrollably until she cried out mercy. After they finished laughing they laid with Jude's head on Ryan's lap.

Jude: "I know you don't think I'm doing the right thing, but it's complicated." He sighed and ran his fingers through her hair soothingly.

Ryan: "I understand Jude, but you can't run from life, from your problems. You have to face your fears head on." He said. She looked up at him.

Jude: "You make me miss Patsy." She snuggled into him a little more.

Ryan: "You don't have to." He whispered as they both fell asleep.

**Back in Toronto Tommy is trying to have a quiet evening with his "family"**

Anna: "Mom, can I have a Hannah Montana Barbie doll?" She asked sweetly.

Jessica: "No." She said sternly. Anna frowned.

Anna: "But you said I could." Jessica glared.  
Jessica: "No, Tom said you could." She said bitterly. Tom rolled his eyes.

Tom: "It's just a toy Jessica." He said, annoyed.  
Jessica: "Well you could buy it for her then. I'm not wasting my sweet time." She huffed.

Tommy: "Oh yeah, because you do so much." He scowled.  
Jess: "Well all you do is work then go to bars with that annoying friend of yours!" She yelled. Yet another fight…

Tom: "He's not the annoying one. You are!" She looked shocked.

Jessica: "He is always rude to me!" She shrieked.

Tommy: "I wonder why?" He rolled his eyes.

Jessica: "What's that supposed to mean?!" She screamed.

Tom: "It means you're a bitch!" He yelled. She frowned.

Jessica: "I'm sure my father would _love_ to know what you think of me." She said, smirking in his face like a child.

Tommy: "Go ahead and tell him." He chugged down his beer and she left the room.

**Back in New York, Jude is with Lucy at a clothing store looking for a dress for a party everyone  
going to together.**

Lucy: "Jude try on this blue one!" She squealed while holding up a pale blue strapless dress that was blown up a bit at the bottom and came down to her knees.

Jude: "Looks sorta like a tutu at the bottom." She said while eyeing the dress up and down. Lucy rolled her eyes.

Lucy: "Does not! And this dress will look great with your newly dyed brown hair!" She told Jude. Jude shook her head.

Jude: "Whatever. No one can win with you." Lucy smirked and pushed her into the dressing room. After a minute Jude came out. Lucy said nothing.

Jude: "I thought it would look bad. I'm gonna go try that black one again because that one-" Lucy cut her off.

Lucy: "Jude you look amazing! You have to get this one. Ryan will just die." She said happily. Jude laughed.

Jude: "Ryan doesn't pay attention to things like that. He finds George Cukor _way_ more interesting than me." She said. Lucy rolled her eyes.

Lucy: "That's not true Jude. That guy's directed movies with Judy Garland_ and _Audrey Hepburn. He's like Ryan's king." Jude smirked.

Jude: "Well you seem to know your stuff." Lucy laughed.

Lucy: "Hello your speaking to me Lucy. I've grown up with Ryan. I _had _to hear about the contrast between Steven Spielberg and Mike Nichols a hundred times a month while living in the same house together. Trust me, you've got it good."

Jude just shook her head and they went to pay.

**Back in Toronto. Spiederman just gets out of D's office and goes into Studio A, where Tom, Kwest and Jamie are.**

Spiederman: "Guess what just happened." He states, more than asking. Tom shrugs.  
Tom: "Darius found out that you stole his favorite vase and pawned it?" He asks with a smirk. Spiederman looks around nervously.

Spied: "Hey! That _never_ happened remember." He whispered harshly while still looking around. Kwest laughed.  
Kwest: "Alright Spiederman. What happened?" He asked. Kyle and Wally walked into the studio.

Spiederman: "Me and the guys are going to be on TRL in New York!" He yelled happily. Kyle gave Wally a high five.  
Kyle: "American chicks." He smirked. Tom rolled his eyes.  
Jamie: "When are you guys going?" He asked. Spiederman glared at Kwest.

Spiederman: "Tomorrow. Dude, you knew and didn't give me a warning?" He asked. Kwest shrugged.  
Kwest: "It was supposed to be a surprise. Tom knew too. Now get out of here and go pack. Portia is probably going to have you guys up early tomorrow." SME groaned.

Tommy: "You heard the man. Go!" He yelled at them. SME turned to leave.  
Wally: "Cranky." He whispered to Kyle. Kyle nodded.

Tom: "I heard you! Get to packing!" He yelled again. Speiderman looked confused and turned around.  
Spiederman: "Aren't you coming with us? You and Kwest_ are _our producers." He said. Kwest shook his head.

Kwest: "We're too busy with wrapping up Karma's album. Portia will chaperon." He said.  
Kyle: "Great." SME all groaned but left happily.

**REVEIW PLEASE!**


	16. I've Just Seen A Face

_A/N- Wow. Well I've been totally busy lately. With school and everything else its not easy for me to just put out chapters and I'm really sorry. I know my posts are unreliable because they always take so long but I'll try harder to post more often. Please keep reading.  
__  
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. I don't own TRL or Supernatural (two shows mentioned in this chapter.) My gosh I don't own anything 'cept for Lucy and Ryan. Why? Because their made up characters, thats why, gosh Dammit.  
__  
_**  
Lucy and Jude are in their apartment watching Saved By The Bell re-runs when Ryan comes barreling through the door.  
**

Ryan: "Jude! Lucy! Where the heck are you guys?!" He screams excitedly.  
Lucy: "You're an idiot. We're in the living room. You didn't even look." Jude laughed as Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Well I'm sorry but I need to talk to you guys. Well, more so Jude." He smiled.  
"If you guys are going to start talking all lovey dovey, I'm so out of here." Lucy said pointing to her room's door. Jude's face turned red.

"Shut up Lucy. What is it Ryan?" Jude smiled. Ryan looked all around the room, everywhere except Jude. Lucy looked at Ryan skeptically.  
"You do know that you interrupted my time with Screech, don't you?" Lucy asked. Ryan shook his head. Jude looked at him.

"What is it Ryan? You came in here all crazy and now your not talking. Is it _bad_ news?" Jude asked.  
"Well… It sort of depends how you look at it…" He said quickly. Lucy glared at him.

"Your annoying me kid. Now we'll ask you one last time. What's going on?" Lucy asked. Ryan sighed. Better just to get on with it.

"Well… todayatworkthisguycamebytherestauranttotalktomeabout-'' Ryan said quickly all at once, but was interrupted by Jude.

Jude: "Ryan! We have no idea what your saying. You're talking a mile a minute. Just calm down, okay?" Ryan nodded, and Jude grabbed his hand.

"Okay." He said while looking at Jude and Lucy very seriously.  
"Remember how I've been sending around some of my footage to different agencies?" Ryan asked. Jude and Lucy nodded.

Ryan: "Well, um, to put it short, I sort of have a gig at TRL. And if I do really good I'll have a job there." He said while looking at both of their faces. Jude smiled and jumped to hug him.

"That's awesome Rye! I'm so happy for you." Jude said and kissed Ryan on the cheek. He grinned and looked at Lucy.  
Lucy: "What about the restaurant?" She asked. Ryan rolled his eyes.

"I'll still be there most of the time, but you know I was going to leave eventually. And this is just a gig. Who knows how it will turn out? But I know I have to try it out." Ryan said. Jude nodded.  
"Well Lucy what do you think?" Ryan asked his sister. Lucy smiled at him.

"I think that it's great Ryan, but I thought you wanted to direct serious movies, and be the next George Cukor. TRL isn't exactly the way he went." Lucy said while staring at him skeptically. Ryan smiled.

"I know Luce. But through this I might meet certain people in the business. I could be on my way." Ryan said. Lucy smiled.  
Lucy: "I guess we better get to celebrating then." She said.

**Back in Toronto, Tom, Kwest, Jamie, Patsy and even Darius were at the airport to see SME and Portia before they left. **

Spied: "Wow Darius. Your actually here. I didn't know you cared so much dude. That's really touching." He pretended to cry while Wally, Kyle and Patsy laughed. Darius rolled his eyes.  
Darius: "I'm here for Portia you idiot." Everyone laughed.

"Oh come on, Darius you know that's not true." Said Kyle.  
Darius: "You better shut up. I know a lot of drummers who would love to take your job." He smirked. Kyle shut up immediately.

"Jeez D, I was kidding." Kyle mumbled and Spied and Wally laughed.  
Kwest: "Have a good flight guys." Tom nodded.  
"Yeah, Vin be careful on the third verse with your tempo. You'll be fine." Tommy said. Spied nodded. Jamie's eyes widened.

Jamie: "Oh! And don't eat the airplane food! I was reading this article-"  
"Shut up Andrews." Tommy said. Jamie frowned and nodded.

Darius: "Now SME, don't make me hear you've been givin' my sister a hard time. And don't say anything stupid at TRL. Got it?" Darius more like stated than asked. Spied groaned.

Spied: "We've been over this a million times. No giving Portia a hard time, no hassling the hotel people, no having fun, no breathing…" Everyone but Darius laughed.

"Have a goodtime in the city. Yah know that's where my brother Dylan lives huh? He's got his very own crew over there, if you guys get jumped by bikers tell them you know Patsy." Patsy said while grinning. Wally gave her a funny look.

Security guard: "You guys need to get on your flight now." Darius nodded and the security guard walked away.  
Portia: "All right, bye guys." She hugged Darius and then walked up to the gate.

"Yeah don't miss us too much." Spiederman said as SME walked up to Portia.  
"Behave!" Darius yelled after them. Tom and Kwest shook their heads.

Tommy: "Yeah. _Okay_." He and Kwest chuckled.

**SME and Portia are in their hotel in **_**New York**_**. SME share a suite and Portia has a room connected to their suite. Wally and Kyle are playing guitar hero when Spiederman enters from the bathroom.**

Spiederman: "You guys are still playing this game?" He asked with boredom in his voice. Kyle doesn't look up from the screen.  
Kyle: "Dude, you were in the bathroom for like two hours. Your hair is fine." He says, referring to Spied's shorter, new haircut.

Spied: "It's kinda weird. I don't know if I like it. Who's winning?" He asks, still bored. Wally smirks, his eyes still glued on the screen before him.  
Wally: "Still me, Kyle totally sucks at guitar hero. Good thing he's the drummer. He cant handle some real responsibility." He says in a teasing way, making Kyle turn red.

Spiederman: "Your right Wally, Kyle totally sucks. Maybe we should kick him out of SME. Do you really think my hair looks okay?" He asks, with a dull tone in his voice.  
Kyle: "Your _mom_." He says spitefully to Spied.

Kyle: "What are you a freaking girl? My _hair_, _my hair, my hair _!"He mocks, using a girly tone. "You might as well be Quincy." He says, as Wally beats him for the 13th time.

Kyle: "Dude you made me lose!" He yells, pointing at Spiederman. Spied smirks.  
Spiederman: "No, you made you lose. You suck." He said as Wally chuckled.

Kyle: "Whatever. I'm just excited about going to on TRL in tomorrow. We're gonna get so many chicks." He says with a smile.  
Wally: "But we're only in New York for a few more days?" He half states, half asks, confused.

Kyle: "You moron, I'm not talking about getting a girlfriend. I'm talkin' bout gettin' some-" Spied cuts him off.  
Spiederman: "We have a big day tomorrow. Lets go to sleep." He says, as he leaves to go to his bedroom. Kyle and Wally look at each other confused.

Spiederman lies awake in his bed, in deep thought.

_I can't beleive SME is going on TRL here in New York. We've gotten so far. I can't beleive that I'm the lead singer of SME. It's great, not as great as the old times, where we jammed out with Jude, but those days are over. _He shook his head, he didn't want to think about _her_ anymore. After a few minutes he fell asleep.

**Ryan entered Lucy and Jude's apartment. Today was the day of Ryan's TRL gig. He got Jude and Lucy backstage passes. They were going there to support him.**

Jude saw Ryan, ran up to him and jumped in his arms. She kissed his cheek, then his nose, then lastly his lips. He smiled at her.

Ryan: "Thanks. I needed that. I kinda feel nervous." Jude smiled and touched his cheek with her right hand, (the one with the promise ring) and smiled up at him.

Jude: "Your going to do great. You have no reason to be nervous." She stated softly. He just stared at her.

Ryan: "How do you know?" He asked.  
Jude: "I'm psychic like that cute tall guy from Supernatural." She smirked. He shook his head and chuckled. Lucy came barreling through her bedroom door.

Lucy: "Well what the heck are we waiting for? Lets go to TRL!" She said as she grabbed her back and ran out the door. Ryan looked at Jude and shrugged and they joined hands and left.


	17. Thing's We Said Today

_A/N- So originally, I was sitting down to write a long overdue chapter for my other story: __Love Music and Betrayal__, but then I had all these idea's for this one and had to start this first lol. Well you see I'm trying to do this whole more frequent chapters thing lol . Anyways, here's the post. I'd like to thank the readers that keep up with this fic, I know my post are sort of unreliable and I'm sorry. Thanks for reading and hopefully reveiwing ! Oh and I don't know anything about the TRL building, besides it's in New York, so bear with me ? Oh and for the Jane Eyre reference, it's a really good book. _

_  
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. I do own Ryan, Lucy, and whoever else I made up lol. The song For blue skies is by Strays dont sleep._

**SME and Portia were in their dressing room and Portia was screaming at them to let the makeup people do their job.**

Portia: "Guys! Do you want me to tell Darius your acting like diva's!" She screamed. Wally rolled his eyes.

Wally: "Actually, the term is div_o_." He said. Spied chuckled a little.  
Portia: "That's it! I'm going to rip all that curly brown hair out of your head!" She screamed at Wally. Wally looked horrified.

Wally: "Kyle, don't let her hurt me." He said as he hid behind him. Kyle rolled his eyes and tried to console Wally, telling him that Portia wasn't serious. Spied turned to Portia, and the makeup people.  
Spiederman: "Portia, makeup dudes; with all due respect... SME doesn't do makeup. Sorry. Maybe Kyle though." He chuckled as Kyle threw him a death glare. Portia sighed.

Portia: "Fine, I'm done trying. Just get into wardrobe." She said as she went to go talk to the producers about the day's show.

**Jude, Lucy and Ryan entered the TRL building in New York. Ryan grabbed Jude's hand and walked up to the front desk where their was a very irritated secretary.**

Ryan: "Hi, um, I start working today." He said to the secretary. She rolled her eyes and ignored him.  
Secretary: "Good for you sparky." She said with fake enthusiasm. Ryan looked at Jude helplessly, and Jude glared at the secretary and cleared her throat.  
Jude: "Excuse me, miss attitude-" Lucy nudged Jude's shoulder, Jude sighed. "He's one of the video men today, so if you could just tell him where he needs to be, I'd be very much obliged to you." She said with fake kindness.

Secretary: "Sure thing, Jane Eyre." She mumbled. Jude rolled her eyes, yeah like she didn't read the book.

Jude: "Now that I think about it, you are a lot like Ms. Ingram, except you lack the beauty." She said coldly. The secretary was shocked that Jude just said that to her. Ryan didn't want any trouble, so he squeezed Jude's hand and told the secretary about what he was there for.

Secretary: "You got an i.d. kid?" She asked, looking at Ryan. Ryan nodded and took out his temporary pass.

Secretary: "What about these two?" She said, pointing to Jude and Lucy. Lucy spoke up.

Lucy: "He got us backstage passes. So now where is my dear brother needed?" She said, in a fake sweet voice. The secretary rolled her eyes and pointed upstairs and so Ryan, Jude and Lucy left up the stairs. Ryan went to his hopefully-soon-to-be boss, while Jude and Lucy hung out in the background.

Lucy: "So who do you think are the guests for today?" She asked Jude.

Jude: "I don't know, we missed when they said it." She shrugged as Lucy ate a doughnut. And she went to a part of backstage where she couldn't _hear_ anything.

**SME was up on stage talking to Damien (The TRL host). Ryan was already working and Lucy was trying to find Jude to tell **

**her about SME, but she couldn't find her.**

Damien: "So how are you guys liking New York?" He asked SME. Kyle looked around.

Kyle: "There's a lot of hot chicks." He winked at one girl who started shrieking. Damien, Spied and Wally chuckled.

Damien: "Very true, but what about the place. It must be very different from Toronto, Canada?" He asked and stated.

Spiederman: "Well yeah it's very different, but we're liking what we see so far." He smiled.

Damien: "Well as you all know, SME's song 'latest disaster' was a number two hit on billboard charts in Canada and number three here in the U.S. , while Jude Harrison is number one in both countries." He chuckled, and Spied tried to smile a bit, finding it useless, he had a feeling Jude was going to get brought up.

Lucy chewed her nails in the background, knowing this was going to get interesting, and stopped looking for Jude.

Damien: "So, I think you knew we were going to bring this up. Jude Harrison, your old lead singer, and apparently really good friend, how do you feel about her success? We don't know where she is, but she's still making hits." Wally was about to speak, knowing it was hard for Spied, but Spied surprised him by grabbing his microphone.

Spiederman: "Well, I'm very glad that she holds the spot. She deserves it and has more talent than I've ever seen in any person. I'm glad the song released because I know she's okay. And a lot of my songs are for her. Anyways, we're excited to perform. Wally here, is going to be playing the piano instead of the guitar for this song."  
He said while patting Wally on the back, and Kyle and Wally's eyes bulged because they realized that Spiederman was changing the song they were supposed to sing.

Damien: "Well then, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, performing here on TRL is Spiederman Mind Explosion!" He said while they rushed on stage. Jude returned from the backstage bathroom, in time to hear what Spied just said. Seeing him she was shocked, and didn't have the nerve to run away.

Spied: "This song is actually a pretty slow one, different from what we usually write. It's called 'For Blue Skies' and it's for my best friend. Hope you guys like this one." Wally started to play while Kyle made a slow beat. Spied just sat in a seat with a microphone.

"_It's been a long year  
Since we last spoke  
Hows your halo?  
Just between you and I  
You and me and the satellites  
I never believed you  
I only wanted to  
Before all of this  
What did I miss?  
Do you ever get homesick?_"

_I cant get used to it  
I cant get used to it  
I'll never get used to it  
I'll never get used to it_

_I'm under that night  
I'm under those same stars  
Were in a red car  
You asleep at my side  
Going in and out of the headlights  
Could I have saved you?  
Would that've betrayed you?  
I wanna burn this film  
You alone with those pills  
What you couldn't do I will_

_I forgive you  
I'll forgive you  
I'll forgive you  
I forgive you_

_For blue, blue skies  
For blue, blue skies  
For blue, blue skies  
For blue, blue skies  
I'll forgive you"_

Spiederman sang so softly that it brought tears to Jude's eyes. Spiederman himself had watery eyes. Jude started to run out of the room, Ryan saw this and wanted to go after her but wasn't allowed.  
Spiederman: "I love and miss you Lisa. Thank you guy's very much." He said, as Damien came on stage and said what a great job they did, and that they'd be back after the break with a new video's. Spiederman walked off the stage in a daze, not really hearing the screaming girls or the congratulations, just wanting to get out of that room full of people.

**Jude ran to an outside balcony for air, not being able to breath anymore. **

She started crying hysterically. She hurt Spiederman so much. How could she forget him that way. He still hasn't gotten over it and it's been like a year! She felt stupid and angry at herself, thinking that she could replace him with the friends she had now. Why did she have to hurt the people she loved? That was Tommy's job! Then all a sudden, a painful thought entered her mind. What if Tommy was here too? In New York? This wasn't fair. Her old life was supposed to stay in Toronto! She couldn't take it and gripped the railing, not being able to stand on her own and her sobs died down but she was still crying like crazy, just silently. Another person went onto the balcony next to hers but she didn't notice because she was too busy crying. The other person didn't notice her standing there either...

**Spiederman walked out onto a balcony, not wanting to be bothered by people at the moment. (Spied's POV)**

I don't know why this still bothers me. I don't know why I can't sing a single song without thinking about my lost best friend. I don't know why I'm not over it! He groaned. I'm here in New York --which is supposed to be the best place in the world-- and all I can think about is crawling up and dying because I feel lonely! He rolled his eyes. These past few weeks have been weird for him. He thought he was kind of over it, but lately, he's been thinking about her and their old memories. Well those are gone, and I just need to accept that. All of a sudden he heard a bit of what sounded like whimpering. He looked to the balcony beside him, and surely their was a girl crying. She had brown hair that was slightly curled and was wearing a light brown shirt with a brown vest over it, blue jeans and brown sandals. I couldn't see her face, but I wanted to see if she was alright. I decided to test my luck and walked back inside and then onto her balcony. When she heard me she turned around and I got the biggest shock of my life. No, it couldn't be. But it was, I knew that face. I knew her features like the back of my hand. It was her alright.

**(Switch to omniscient narrator)**

Spiederman: "Jude?" He asked softly, in pure shock. Jude just stared at him, tears still coming down her face.  
Jude: "Hi Spied." She said softly. He walked up to her. She noticed that he was kind of crying and he touched her face with his hand and closed his eyes.

Spiederman: "Is it really you?" He asked, trying to keep his voice from breaking. She nodded silently.  
Jude: "It's me." She said while chuckling softly through her tears, making her crying worse.

Spiederman: "Thank god." He chuckled softly with his eyes still closed. "I thought you weren't real." He said while she knew he was crying. He opened his eyes.

Spiederman: "Jude.. I-" He stopped, not knowing what to say after all this time. He dropped his hand from her face.  
Jude: "Spied, I'm _so_ sorry." She said crying while he opened his arms and put them around her in a hug.  
She started sobbing again loudly. Even though she changed so much in the past months, she was still the same with Spiederman, and she still felt the safest she'd felt in a long time. He grabbed the back of her head with his head and kissed her forehead.

Spiederman: "I was so worried about you. I thought something bad happened to you until your song got out." He said. She looked up at him and broke his embrace.  
Jude: "I didn't mean for that to get out." She said. He looked at her in anger and shock.

Spiederman: "What do you mean? How'd it get out then? Jude I was worried sick! We all were! I thought that song was a message! To tell us that you were _okay_, and now your telling me that you didn't mean for it to get out?" He said in pure anguish.

Jude: "Vincent, just calm down." She said.

Spiederman: "Jude." He stopped and looked around in complete anger. "You, don't have the right to tell me to calm down right now." He said while gritting his teeth.

Jude: "Look Spied, it wasn't meant-" He cut her off.

Spiederman: "Then what the_ hell _was it supposed to mean? Tell me, Jude. Because I don't think I can understand you much anymore." He said coldly, looking away.

Jude: "Spied," She sighed, " you know you know me more than anyone." He turned around to look at her with a mean look on his face. She couldn't hold his stare, it was too cold and it made her want to start crying hysterically again.

Spiederman: "Look at me!" He screamed. She didn't.

Spiederman: "Don't tell me that I know you more than anyone. That's bullshit! And don't tell me that you didn't _mean_ for the song to get out. And do _not_ tell me that your _sorry_ because it would take a whole lot of me to_ believe _it." He said coldly. She still wouldn't look at him.

Spiederman: "If I really knew you, I would've found you. I would've known where your heart was. I would've done something instead of lying around! _Hell _if I knew you, I would expect something bad to happen that day when you told me you cared about me with finality." He said almost emotionlessly, but with a trace of anger in his voice.

Jude: "You knew me enough, not to look. But Spied, I _am_ sorry. You don't know how much I've always been." She said while not looking at him. So softly, that it was barely audible. He sighed, knowing she meant it.

Spiederman: "I should be _so_ mad at you. I should scream at you, and make you feel the hurt and anger I felt. I should make you cry like I've cried, and how Sadie's cried. Except, luckily for you, I _hate_ seeing you cry."  
He said smiling at her. She turned around to look at him and she jumped in his arms again.

Jude: "I've missed you so much!" She tells him as happily as she can through her tears.

Spiederman: "I've missed you too." He says while his voice breaks. She holds him at arms length to see his face.  
Jude: "Please don't be sad." She says.

Spiederman: "Look Jude, I need you to promise me something. And you need to do it okay? Can you do that?" He says seriously in a deep voice, while biting down on his lip to keep his own tears contained, his voice breaking more and more.  
Jude: "Spied..." He shakes his head.

Spiederman: "Promise me Jude. That you'll never do that to me again." He says, while staring at her intently, trying to be a man and not cry.

Jude: "Okay Spied. I promise you." She says seriously. He nods and tries to smile while looking to the side of him then back at her.

Spiederman: "Always for forever right?" He says, biting his lip again. She nodded and smiled. And while she was in his arms again, he cried without her knowledge of it.


	18. Any Time At All

_A/N- Okay I really don't know what to say. But I am sooooo sorry to all of the readers of this. I really have no excuse but lack of inspiration for this fanfic, and a lot of drama in my life. And because of that, I almost completely forgot about it all together. And I feel terrible about that. I haven't posted for basically a year. I remember I had a chapter or two written for this story but my computer broke down a few months ago and now I have none of that. A recent review made me remember this fanfic and it's been so long that I didn't even remember my whole story. I'm going to try my damn best to finish this. So I don't even know if I have readers any more but I'm determined to finish what I started._

_Disclaimer: I barely remember what's entailed in these. I do not own Instant Star. Or TRL (btw can you believe that it ended! I can't believe so much has changed since my last post!) And of course Instant Star has ended and I was not pleased. So here it goes…  
_

**Spiederman and Jude separate and wipe away their tears, not even embarrassed because they  
were still best friends in each other's eyes.  
**

Spied: "Man, dude, you started some drama." He said as Jude laughed.  
Jude: "That song in there was really good Spied. Your gonna be great. I just know you will." She smiled.  
Spiederman: "I don't know dude, I kind of miss having a lead singer." He pushed her with his elbow playfully as he smiled.  
"But seriously though, I don't know if it's what I want. I don't know if it's what I'm meant for." He sighed.  
Jude: "Speid, what are you talking about? You're doing awesome! Your single is number 3 in the U.S. and number 2 in Canada! You love music, you always have. And you always told me that you wanted this. You're totally meant for this." She reassured him, grabbing his hand, smiling.  
Spied: "Jude, I love music, don't get me wrong. And I could never give it up. But this whole lead singer thing, I don't know but I'm not into it. I always wanted to be recognized, but I don't want to be the face of the group. And I like writing my own stuff, but I really don't know but something's missing dude." He sighed. Jude frowned and patted his arm.  
Jude: "Take time and figure it out. Because music-" Jude was suddenly interrupted by hearing her name.  
"Jude?"Kyle asked. Jude whipped around to see a wide eyed Wally and Kyle looking at her, with Lucy and Ryan also standing behind them, out of breath. Jude smiled at them shyly.

Jude: "Yeah guys?" She asked softly. Kyle ran up to Jude and grabbed her into a bone crushing hug, and spun her around in the air. She laughed and hugged Kyle back.  
Kyle: "Dude! You have been in New York all this freaking time?" He asked as he squeezed her more. Jude coughed.  
Jude: "Kyle, can't breathe." She wheezed out and he let her go immediately. She stared at Wally, who hadn't moved. Wally looked at Spiederman in question. Spiederman nodded and smiled.  
Jude: "Wally?" She asked him nervously. Wally looked at her with a questionable look on his face.  
Wally: "You were supposed to help me with my English paper." He accused. Jude had a look of surprise on her face. She looked at Spiederman, who just shrugged and rolled his eyes playfully.  
Jude: "Oh. Well, I'm sorry Wally." She said, kind of confused.  
Wally: "I failed that paper." He said. She shook her head, almost wanting to smile.  
Jude: "I'm sorry Wally. Will you forgive me please?" She asked him. He contemplated, and then smiled.  
Wally: "Well I guess if you're really sorry." He said, going up to her and hugging her like Kyle did and then letting her down. She smiled and ruffled his hair.  
Kyle: "Aw, group hug!" And he marched towards her and Wally and hugged them. Spiederman rolled his eyes and did not plan to join, but Kyle gave him a death stare till Spied joined too.

Wally: "We never do group hugs anymore." They all laughed and pulled away. Kyle kept his arm wrapped around Jude.  
Kyle: "So Jude, have you had time to consider the marriage proposal?" He asked smiling. She laughed. It was amazing. She could go without seeing them for almost a year, and it seemed like everything changed, but they were suddenly together and they were laughing and joking like they were back home in Toronto and she never left.

Ryan: "Um, excuse me?" Ryan said, him and Lucy stepping out onto the balcony finally and awkwardly.  
"Who's this dude?" Kyle asked to no one in particular. Jude shook her head.  
Jude: "This is Ryan, he's-" Ryan cut her off.  
Ryan: "I'm her boyfriend." He said, but not in a rude way, knowing from Jude's stories that these guys were like her brothers, but not liking how touchy-feely they were. SME looked surprised.

Wally: "Jeez Jude, everywhere you go." Everyone laughed, including Jude. Jude punched Wally's arm.  
Lucy: "Oh and I'm Lucy by the way. I'm Judith's roommate, and BFF." She said cheerfully, as she always was. Spiederman scoffed.  
Spied: "_I'm _her best friend. Why would you call her Judith? She hates that." He said. Lucy shrugged her shoulders.  
Lucy: "Possessive much?" She smiled. Spiederman smiled and let it go. SME looked to Ryan.  
Kyle: "So your Jude's new beau?" Ryan gave an awkward nod, and scratched his neck. Jude laughed.  
Jude: "Guys, do not badger him please?" She asked with a worried smile. Lucy spoke up.  
Lucy: "Um Jude? I don't think that TRL is necessarily the place to have a reunion if you want to stay unrecognized." She whispered. Jude nodded, knowing that she was right.  
Jude: "Guys why don't you say we all go to mine and Lucy's apartment?" She asked. Lucy nodded.  
Spiederman: "Sure, but I don't know how we're gonna ditch Portia though." He said. Jude's eyes widened.  
Jude: "Portia's here?" She asked, clearly surprised. Kyle rolled his eyes.  
Kyle: "You think Darius would let us come alone?" He scoffed. Jude's face even softened at the mere mention of her old boss but then she turned rigid.

Jude: "Wait, so it's just Portia here with you, right?" She asked, clearly a little shaken. SME came to an understanding quickly.  
Spiederman: "Yeah it's just us and her Jude." He said softly, smiling. Jude smiled back sincerely.  
Kyle: "Let's just ditch Portia and tell her later we found some chicks." Wally snorted.  
Wally: "Real believable Kyle." Jude and Spiederman laughed.  
Spiederman: "It'll work. Let's take the back entrance." They all nodded. Ryan grabbed Jude's hand, pulling her away from Kyle gently, but making Spiederman frown. Ryan grabbed Jude in a hug.  
Ryan: "I can't leave right now. But I'll meet you at your apartment later. Okay babe?" He asked looking down at her.  
Jude: "Sure, alright." He looked a little worried. He went to talk into her ear.  
Ryan: "Are you sure your gonna be okay? Do you want me to come, 'cause I'll ditch this place." He whispered. Jude smiled, and touched his cheek with her hand.  
Jude: "I'll be fine, don't worry about me." She smiled sincerely. He smiled back.  
Ryan: "K, I love you, see you later." He hugged her close and kissed her.  
Jude: "Love you too." She smiled as he went back inside. She turned to look at Lucy and SME.  
Lucy: "Oh Jude, I forgot I have to go to John's and bring Petey to some school thing, is it okay if I meet up with you later too?" She asked nervously, asking with her eyes if that was okay with Jude.

Jude: "Of course Luce, I'll be safe with my boys." She smiled as Lucy nodded and walked out from the balcony. "I'll see you later." She called out to Lucy. She turned to SME.  
Jude: "Alright let's get out of here, and try not to get caught." She said with a smile, though a little worried.

**Back in Toronto, Tommy is getting home from G-Major, only to get bombarded  
by Jessica when he opens the door.**

Jessica: "Where have you been Tom?!" She screamed into his face. He rolled his eyes, with a look of agitation on his face.  
Tommy: "I was at G-Major, producing SME. Like usual." He said in an obvious, duh, kind of way. She rolled her eyes at him and marched closer to him with determination.  
Jessica: "Don't you lie to me! I know that you weren't with SME!" She screamed at him, poking him in the chest. He stepped back, pursed his lips and rolled his eyes again for the millionth time.  
"Oh yeah, and how do you know that?" Tommy asked her. She narrowed her eyes.

Jessica: "Because it's horseshit! I called G-Major, and that blonde-bimbo –receptionist told me that SME was in New York! So tell me Tom, how have you been producing them for the last 3 days, when their not even in the country!" She yelled, shrilly, at him. He looked away and covered his eyes.  
Tom: "You are so annoying. And Sadie isn't a bimbo." He said with an eye roll. Jessica looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head.  
Jessica: "Where the fuck have you been!" She screamed into his face. He looked away. "Answer me!"

Tommy: "Jesus, Jess. Anna's in her room." He said, but Jessica gave him a look that basically said she could give a crap about what Anna heard.  
"Alright, well, I'm just, I'm-, uh, producing their songs that the left. I mean-, yeah. They have un-produced songs that still need to be worked on." He said as she stared at him skeptically.  
Jessica: "Alright, baby. I don't want to involve my father." She said smiling, completely over it, as if they never had a tiff in the first place and she wasn't yelling a second ago. He rolled his eyes.  
Jessica: "So what do you wanna do now? Do you want to look at the wedding invitation choices?" She asked with a smile. He rolled her eyes and looked at her with a dull look on his face.  
Tommy: "No. No Jessica. I don't want to look at wedding invitation choices." He said dully. He started to walk up the stairs. She ran up to him and grabbed his arm. He turned and looked at her, annoyed.  
"What _now_?" He asked, with clear agitation on his features. She smiled.

Jessica: "Why don't you say I join you?" She said seductively. He rolled his eyes at her and took her hand off of his arm.  
Tom: "I'm tired Jessica. Can you just leave me alone tonight?" He asked as she turned angry again. He tried to walk up the stairs but she pulled him down, almost making him trip.  
"What the hell Jessica?!" He asked as he leaned onto the wall to steady himself.  
Jessica: "You never want to do anything with me Tom. All you want to do is go to freaking G-Major, and push stupid buttons! Or go out to the bar and come home wasted! When you spend time with Anna you don't take me along! You don't help out with the wedding, and now you won't even sleep with me!" She yelled and he grimaced at her tone.  
Tommy: "I told you, I have a lot on my plate, Jessica." He told her, annoyed. She shook her head.  
Jessica: "Oh please! All that's on your mind is that stupid kid! That... What's her face? That Jude! She's been gone for months and I think she's what's got you like this! How can you like a _child_?" She accused. He spun around to glare at her.

Tommy: "Don't you _ever_ say her name again. Do you hear me? Don't you ever talk about _her_ again!" He screamed at her. She stared at him, at a loss of words, shocked.  
Jessica: "Why are you doing this?" She asked. He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes.  
Tom: "You're the one doing this." When she didn't respond he rolled his eyes and went up stairs, not talking to her for the rest of the night.

**Also in Toronto, Sadie and Kwest are having dinner in Kwest's apartment.  
**

Sadie: "Well you sure went out of your way, baby." She smiled at him. He smiled back at her.  
Kwest: "Well sure anything for you. Oh- you do know I'm expecting you to put out." He said as Sadie's mouth dropped in playful shock and she punched him in the arm. They both laughed.  
"Ouch, jeez you can be almost as violent as Jude sometimes." He chuckled and Sadie stopped laughing. Kwest noticed the smile on her face drop. He grabbed her hand from across the table.

Kwest: "I'm sorry Sadie." He knew how she got when someone mentioned Jude. She smiled sadly.  
Sadie: "It's okay, how can I get sad just when people mention her name?" She shook her head.  
"I still feel sad about her sometimes. It's because I miss her still I guess. You'd think I would be handling it better by now." She said sniffling. Kwest moved his chair next to hers and rubbed his hand on her back in order to comfort her.  
Kwest: "Sades, it's okay to get a little sad when she's mentioned. I mean she was your sister, its hard to just get over her leaving, it's only been a year." He told her soothingly. Sadie nodded.  
Sadie: "It's like sometimes, I think I'm dealing. Like I can go on living my life. But when I go back home I have to walk past her empty room. I have to look at the pictures of her on the fridge. And dad's always on his business trips, I'm always there by myself. It makes me miss her so much sometimes." She looked down sadly. Kwest lifted her head up with his hand so she would look at him.  
Kwest: "Sadie, you are _not _alone. You have me. I'll always be there. And you can always count on me, and you can come here whenever you want you know that." He said. She nodded.

Sadie: "I know babe, thanks." She said, rubbing her nose. He shook his head.  
Kwest: "Sadie I don't want you to ever feel alone. Because you're not. Sades, why don't you, um, why don't you, Sades… Move in with me." He said with determination. Her mouth dropped.  
Sadie: "Kwest, I, I mean, I don't know…" She said nervously. He smiled.  
Kwest: "Sadie you can think about it. But for now why don't I just give you a key." He smiled. She grinned at him.  
Sadie: "Really?" She was smiling, and he was grinning back. He nodded.  
Kwest: "Yep, really Sades." He smiled as she squealed a little and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
Sadie: "You're the best. I love you." She sighed. He kissed her head.  
Kwest: "I love you too babe." He said into her ear. They were with each other, so neither of them brought up Jude again, even though their thoughts were both on her.

_A/N- I hope you liked it. I already have stuff for the next chapter, so I think it should be out soon!_


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